Wednesday, December 15, 2010

BREAKING NEWS LADY GAGA AND MARILYN MANSON ARE SAME PERSON

Allegedly.  Definitely, Probably, Maybe. 
For  over a year I have been hard at work mentioning and doing intensive scientific studies thinking about  really important irrelevant stuff.

Remember the Great breaking news when my scientific studies PROVED BEYOND ALL DOUBT  insinuated there was PROOF a slim chance Justank Beaver is  in fact Donny Osmonds love child.  If not click here.

The point here people is that I am pretty much the go to gal for science studies and forensic celebrity investigations.  I know scary right?  That is freaking awesome and I am here just for you. yes you my one faithful reader.

Now here are some issues that made me come up with the hypothesis that Lady Ga Ga is indeed an updated Marilyn Manson.

1- has anyone hear or seen from Marilyn Manson since Ga Ga crashed onto the scene.
2- have they ever been in the same trash can/ room/ rehab/latex store/ state at the same time?
3- If you watch their creepy ass videos with it on mute ( because that shit will brainwash you)  it will appear that you could be watching either of the jerky, artsy, latex spattered, clearly self mutilating music videos where clearly FUCKING UGLY people think they are sexy.
4- They both wear insanely small corsets remember how the Manson rumor was that he had a rib removed to  have a smaller waist and fit into his/her corsets right?
5-  Each of them seem to love grossing people out to the point that sane humans will need a barf bag after listening to them speak or seeing their disgusting fashion choices and cover up their lack of talent with shock factor.


With all these questions and points it was clear I had to do more research.  Because I don't want to be the bitch who messes all this up.
I am going with some visual aids.

Both have a fetish for putting and doing weird things with their eyes and latex clothes.

Both bejazzel their faces in a mask like fashion
Both wear stupid shit on their head, black gloves and have an ugly ass snake like crusty tongues that lean left.
both have such disturbing profiles it's clear they were probably picked on horribly in school even by the stinky kid. However GAGA has learned not to be photo'd from her bad side.  Which is either one.  

Both wear stupid ass ankle breaking boots to make them taller and assier but can walk on lava or the planet Mercury.


I think my theory is coming together here,  but I found out a few more things in my research.


6- Both clearly have some type of minimal musical talent but it is hidden under their trite musical banging and if not for videos and photogs and press they would never be taken seriously.
7- It's apparent he /she/it learned their lesson about having a Fruit loops Tucan profile so GaGa only gets shot head on but you can see it in any of her videos.
8- both their names are double the same letter.  Marilyn Manson ( 2 m's)  Lady GGa ( 2 g's)


Dangerously close to proving my theory I was nearly sucked into their world as if a victim of "Inception" or "Butterfly Effect"  Walking amongst their insanity it was becoming increasingly hard to identify who was who and almost purchased a corset and glued sparkly shit to my face.  Then in as the madness deepened it hit me.

To Prove this theory I will indeed need to turn to my nemesis. Mathematical theory. ( dun dun dun)

the numbers appeared on the paper like magic.

Marilyn Manson                                                    Lady Ga Ga
M is the 13th letter in the Alphabet                             G is the 7th letter in the Alphabet
2x13 is = 26                                                              2x7 is 14
he's non existent now                                                 she is twice as popular as he was so 2x14 is 28
he was androgynous                                                  she had to put LADY in her name so you would know
                      there are 2 chromosomes that determine your sex.
                                                                                if you take away the Lady claim that would -2
                     total findings- Mathematically they are indeed the same person
end result - 26                                                           end result 26



I find these truths to be self evident.  I will also sit back and wait for my Honorary Phd's in all Science, Math and Philosophy to come rolling it.  I will be right here.  Not wearing latex, Not glue shit to my face.  I swear.



xo
PEACH OUT
* disclaimer none of these photos are mine.  they were sent to me by my crack staff of interns that knew I was working on this for over a year.   I thank them.
*  that first disclaimer was total bullshit.  seriously I have no clue where I got these probably from google searches on FUCKING FREAKS, so if it's YOUR pic, and by that I mean You are indeed Marilyn Manson/Lady Gaga,  call me up we will talk about you paying me for press  you sick bitch.

7 comments:

Midwestern Mama Holly said...

Brilliant observations!! Similar to the theory Ive always had about Michael and LaToya Jackson... they are they SAME person. MJ didnt die.. he just chose to live full time as LaToya.

ThePeachy1 said...

I couldn't have done it without all of your support Holly. Also can you same day ship me some facial bejazzle glue remover, and possibly a carrot peeler so I can get this latex out of my fat rolls. I had to go to the dark side during my research.

Oilfield Trash said...

You have some very compelling evidence here. I think you may be onto something. And also explains why Gaga has junk.

pattypunker said...

of all the very compelling science and math found here i just find this to be the most convincing (e.g., hilarious) "they both have ugly ass snake like crusty tongues that lean left."

A Cajun Down Under said...

How did I not see that before?!?

Katie said...

I find it a little crazy that you posted this because I've been trying to convince my husband of this fact for the past 6 months.

paulsifer42 said...

Ok man, this post, even though it's eight months old, is THE SHIT! I never noticed the similarities, but they are uncanny. Also, you'll notice that while they have not talent, they do have a writer who is able to take very few chords (so drug addicts can memorize them) and arrange them in pretty catchy ways. Just sayin'.