Not often seen here

Not often will you see me here,  act sane,  but today I have to take a minute to do this for some people I have never met and probably never will.

photo credit to wkrg.com news mobile alabama

It was nearly 20 years ago my world was turned upside down when my second child was born, I had no clue the words Apgar scores would mean so much and that lead me to write the 3 part series the hardest thing.

It was around 16 years ago I stood trembling in the road with my 2 babies as I watched everything I owned engulfed in a ball of orange while men in red trucks ran with hoses toward the ball. Then handed me a singular spoon, 1 tennis shoe and a blue plastic hanger to start our lives over.

It was 10 years ago when 58 days and 2 dear friends made the difference between the life and death of my darling Prince being alive today and being able to have a water balloon fight on his birthday this past weekend.

It was almost 6 years ago that a wall of water washed away 40 years of the hard work, memories, love and laughter of nearly everyone I know in the 4 counties around me.  Yet for some reason, I was left nearly untouched?  When not a school, fire department, hospital, or even a road was left,  why. I searched for families with gas cans we filled in other states, with laptops powered on generators, looking for people.  We painted on plywood and had adorable babies swimming in our bathtub to cool down.  We had a well, and a generator.  Our only damage was a trampoline that had flown over the house, grabbed the chimney and ripped off the fireplace which took down one wall, sure we lost the roof, but it stayed on, it merely snapped all the beams, we were indeed the lucky ones.   Everyone was so equal.  There were no socio economic classes.  There was no race, no crime, everyone helped everyone was the same here,  the roads were cleared by the neighbor men with chainsaws, the elderly were taken care of by the women with water, and the ladies who canned food shared with everyone.  The teens cleared debris and watched babies so the others could drive looking for lost loved ones, or missing homes.  You shared what you had, and you didn't ask for anything because everyone knew  what everyone needed and no Thanks was necessary.   ( in case you haven't figured it out that little storm was called Katrina)

It was less than 24 hours ago that over 200 people have lost their lives in my State and the States neighboring me.  It was 2 counties north of me it didn't even rain here.  I see the sunshine and wonder why as I run through my facebook and twitter trying to do a roll call to check on everyone.  There are no reasons I can offer.  There are no words I can write that can make anything better.  Nothing can take away the destruction, the loss, the pain, the hurt, the fear the will come back every time a dark cloud comes or those sirens ring out.  The simple words I am so sorry are not enough.  But I am.  For the people that today are without shelter, scared, worried, and wondering what to do,  there are people all over this little blue and green ball, thinking of you today that you will never know sending you good thoughts and strength. When it all feels lost, most things can be replaced, the things that can not, you must work hard to remember in your heart.

I  will leave you with the most worthless words on the planet, yet they are all I have.  I am so sorry.

From the Gulf Coast..   Sending love and good thoughts  to those in in pain.

XO

PEACH OUT

**photo credit to wkrg.com  mobile alabama**

Dear Heathens of Alabama and Miss Arkansas I am a setting up a refugee camp

DEAR HEATHENS OF THE SOUTH.  

PLEASE DO NOT PANIC.

 I AM HERE FOR YOU.

In some un fucking fathomable parallel universe a judgmental person who thinks he has the right to take his personal interpretation of a human interpretation of what a ( possible) Omnipotent beings wishes are and then use them to pass his own personal judgement on you publicly.

SHOCKER!

This is not rare, it happens every second of every day in nearly every culture, in fact nearly every war in history on this planet was fought on some variation of this basic principal, even if veiled behind another " front cause. But this HUGE DINGUS KHAN, is an elected official, who did it during his inaugural speech on of all days- 

  Dr Martin Luther Kings Holiday which celebrates UNITY.

Just in case you have been, held hostage in a cave,  in a submarine  busy being probed by aliens,  out of touch,  here's what the elected representative ( Governor) of the people of the had to say to the people he was elected to represent ( in Alabama);

 “Anybody here today who has not accepted Jesus Christ as their savior, I’m telling you, you’re not my brother and you’re not my sister, and I want to be your brother.”

I probably don't even need to point out how that pretty much excludes anyone who does NOT believe in not ONLY in his specific deity but indeed that his specific deity had an illicit affair with a virgin that is against his own rules and then didn't pay child support the kid was homeless. (it din't end well read the book, theres like 7 versions)

Wow.   Ok.  Wow.  Excuse me for a second while I go bang my face on a 2x4 that I have driven rail road spikes through because my dalmatian just facepalmed and asked if we could possibly move farther away from Alabama.   I woke up this morning to find out that the cat who is a bitch had simply packed her shit and already left leaving only a note saying, don't contact me this is far too humiliating.  Finally I agree with her.

So let me get this straight.  We have a delay so stuff like a star spangled nipple pasty on Janet Jackson doesn't slip out  in public but shit like this CAN just fly from his mouth like he's a direct Representative of GOD on earth here to pass out judgement like he knows all these dead birds and magnetic pole shifts are indeed the sign of the apocalypse? ( wait . shit. I should call him and check on that maybe later)  

Is this dude related to Miss Arkansas?  I mean really? I saw that "scholarship show" ( because smart people need high heels that match their bikinis too y'all)  and guess what.   That poor girl doesn't have a friend on this big blue marble.  You know how I know this?     THIS is how I know this.  Exhibit A

UGLY ASS sequin jumpsuit. and yodeling Ventriliquist dummies.

So basically she has no friends.  A friend says, " you have brocolli in your teeth, yeah that dress makes your ass look huge, or NO THAT TALENT IS STUPID AS HELL AND YOU LOOK LIKE AN IDIOT. " Really they let this poor girl go on a National show with what is equal to having a fist sized boil on her nose and massive camel toe. 

Which leads me back to Alabama Governor Mc Doucheydouche.  

He has no real friends.  Real friends would go, " Dude, I respect your relationship with your higher power, I also am proud of you for getting elected to this political position,  but since it's 2011, and there's this new thing called separation of church and state, I know totally freaking crazy right?,  also?  it's MLK day, and  your not going to believe this but we don't really have gun control, and they invented this new shit called the internet so if you do indeed go ahead do your usual asshattery it's going to go viral in seconds, I accept that you have the judgement of that dead armadillo we passed on the way to the stage full of press microphones, so I went ahead and edited your speech just a tad so you wont set our state back to circa 1914, because I love our state, and you, that's what friends are for man."

BAM- NONE OF THIS WOULD HAVE HAPPENED.    BUT HE DOESN'T HAVE A FRIEND.

or a speech writer,   ( but I bet he has 1 of those things now, guess which 1)

In lieu of the obvious need for all heathens to evacuate the great noble state of Alabama,  I as a neighboring southern state will go ahead and set up a Heathen refugee camp.   It wont be pretty but refugee camps aren't supposed to be.   You will need to bring your own potted meat, road kill or peanut butter ( yeah peanut butter was invented there folks pay homage now ) your own pillows and toilet paper.

Directions-  Simply  Turn your back on the Alabama Governors Mansion and start walking toward the BP Oil Spill,  stop just before you smell the waft of urine soaked streets and Jazz Music. 

Or we are gluing these over all the yard sale signs we can find along the way. 

If re-incarnation is real I think at best I am currently looking at cat turd status

xo

PEACH OUT