Monday, August 29, 2011

Why?

1- Whores?
Why does the world have an addiction to know everything about rancid whores.  No no I don't mean street walking rancid whores I mean,  high class no talent whores.  You know like the Kardashions, the Jersey Shore, or any housewives of what the fuck ever I used my snatch to get rich and think I am still in high school,  Brittany, Lindsey Lohan and the like.  This will and always will baffle me.  They are no talent whores, honestly go volunteer at a soup kitchen rather than read anything about these air wasting no talent no moral huge ass whores. If that's below you,  go work at a dog shelter, that's where the little dogs that were "chic" a few years back are.

2-Lice?
How did I survive my entire life without every getting bugs?  They say blah blah no shame blah, but I am sorry if I get a call to my kids school saying pick up your bug riddle kid you nasty hag, I do feel a little judged.  This is probably whey  twice a week during the school year I use this really super cool robotic comb on my kids hair. It not only let's you know if there is a social economical lice market place on your kids head,  then it zaps them,  so it's like a bug zapper, but in the shape of a comb.  However I am busting the neurotic seems so if that damn thing goes off I will put chemicals on my kids head risking his life, intelligence and brain function with a series of weapons of mass destruction.  Why?  Uhm duh, I hate freaking bugs.


3-Facebook-
what the fuck are you doing?  hey Mark, I know you are busy being the ubber geek you are but you need to realize that the folks   you left in charge are dickwaffles and need to be chastised, and by chastised I mean stripped naked and tied to a fire ant mound while a trail of honey leads from between their little toes to their nuts.   Stop trying to drive us all away you are suck fucking idiots.  have you ever hear the expression if it aint broke dont fix it?   Get your head out of the guy that Justin Timberlake playeds ass. You are now what you always hated.


4- G+
Ok I have no flipping idea how the hell you work.  Seriously it has taken me like a year to get down wp, blogger, blogher, facebook, twitter and tweet deck.  I was working on figuring out the Geomagnetic theory of Klout when low and behold here comes freak G+  I got a million request I answered them,  yet I see nothing to "do". Then I get this DM on twitter saying OMG  isn't G+ so much cooler than FB, especially since FB is so lame and everyone hates it!   Thanks you assholes.  Honestly you make me feel like my parents making me make the time on their BETA  to stop flashing.   I do not appreciate you trying to make me look stupid thank you very much I can do that all on my own.   No I have to higher a freaking g+ tutor?  What about the 2700 people I love and interact with on facebook.  Are yous saying that to be popular I have to diss the facebook friends for the cooler G+ friends?   Google-  have you never seen the breakfast club?  I wont give up my peeps, suck on that..

5- Lottery
Why have I not won the lottery.  My dad has played faithfully wed & sat got 18 years..  He's a great guy, goes to church, helps everyone, honestly he should win.  I play off an of, but I never win. It's like throwing a dollar out the window every tine I want to play


Thats it for now,

xo
PEACH OUT

7 comments:

Michele O said...

My feelings exactly!

Rachel said...

I feel kind of bad for Britney. I don't think she was a whore by choice. Her parents whored her out for years, and now she's stuck with the crazy that comes from your parents whoring you out from childhood.

P.S. That doesn't look anything like Demi Moore in the ad at the bottom of your page. I was all who's that in the Ann Taylor ad? Seriously who is that??? Then I saw that it's supposed to be Demi Moore. Photoshop fail Ann Taylor.

Lin said...

Wow...you said it!

The Reckmonster said...

A-fucking-men to the bizarre fascination with whores. It's nauseating to the Nth degree! Why are they famous? Because they get out of cars with no drawers on and allow the snatch to be photographed? Wow. Word to tha mother, Boomslang sister! As usual...you are spot on (ahem...except, I do think G+ is cool!).

ThePeachy1 said...

Reck. maybe you can teach an old dog how to use it, I just click "accept" when I get the invites, so far it doesn't seem more than linkdin if it is, then it's quite possible I might invest enough time to learn, but I would need a tutor like you cobra sister.

The Reckmonster said...

Peach - did you create your "circles" on G+? That's what I like about it - when you post some stuff, you can pick certain circles (like "friends") to read it - like if you don't want Great Aunt Matilda reading about the vibrator you accidentally received in the mail - then you put Auntie M in the "family" group and don't publish to that circle. You can do the same with pictures. Everything doesn't have to be public for everyone and their nosey brother to see. You can do it on FB too, to a certain extent...but it's much more time consuming.

Hildegard said...

Yes, thank you! Please send your # 1 to E!, MTV & VH1 decision makers!!!