I am 7 ways from Sunday every level of jacked up.
I just got all the damn sticky marks from that hospital tape scraped off me and I look like a bruised up grape still.
Yesterday for no reason other than I fucking BLINKED WRONG. My damn right eye busted all the blood vessels.
I look like I just stepped into fight scene with Demi Moore in GI Jane ( suck her dick) finished whipping her ass and then went straight over to Mr and Mrs Smith and beat the shit out of old Angelina ( which I would do for $1.00) .
So I think I deserve a sparkly eye patch and shit. Like the one Johnny Depp has but with less fish smell and more glitter. But I am afraid to do anything because even typing this I am probably putting myself in mortal danger of like who the fuck knows. Clearly I have some type of mad ass voo-doo curse on me..
I blame someone.. I am not sure who yet.
I am getting back in my hamster ball and sitting here waiting for my glittery eye patch and packing peanuts safety chair to arrive.