DAY 2 APOCALYPSE COVERAGE
COMMITTED, PICKED UP BY HOMELAND SECURITY
THE FACTS I WILL REVEAL IN THIS SERIES WILL GET ME
IN THE HISTORY BOOKS
AT LEAST UNTIL THE EARTH ENDS.
PART 3 OF THE MOST
FUCKED UP IMPORTANT SHIT YOU WILL EVER READ MAYBE!
As I revealed to you on Monday only me, (click here) Tom Hanks and Mel Gibson know the truth. I am choosing to share it with you sans the stuffed beaver or best friend soccer ball head.
I have spent
minutes, hours, weeks, months, years researching the topic I am about to present you with and find that the following series will be the most fictitious conclusive argumentative Scientific Study I have brought to you in at least a couple days, EVER. The New York Times would describes it as "Earth Shattering" and Wall Street Journal would say, " most enlightening series known to mankind." if they were tripping on LSD and buried in an under ground bunker with the only escape being writing what I say, they would probably have said that.
Just like a
mommy logger giving away a $1.00 off coupon for huggies first class national news programs. I have the kind of dedicated dogs staff that will come through when it counts. This "BREAKING NEWS GRAPHIC" should appear on your screen every 15 minutes as we flood you with utter speculation and misinformation nothing but the facts.
A lot of credit is being given to the Mayan Calendar and Millions of Dollars are being spent to study it, why it ends when it does and what it means.
Some really smart Scientist Guys ( code for dudes who don't get laid EVER) have determined that it's based on their 2600 year cycle and December 21 2012 will be the birth of a new era and that birth is bloody and painful. ( clearly they have NEVER seen the Orgasmic births on YouTube. I really do wish I could scrub that from my memory.)
That's the mystery behind they Mayan Calendar. Now you know.
You are welcome.