A nut in the hand is better than 2 in the Bush

You know what's NOT awesome?   A fucking heart attack.   Oh yeah other things suck, like a flat tire, being late for work or a speeding ticket.   But I have to tell you guys, a heart attack ranks right up there with an IRS anal probing and shit.

Here's a quick run down.

• Tuesday Morning I had a heard attack.
• I drove myself to the E.R. after I posted, answered emails, showered, fed the dogs, and moved the clothes to the dryer.
• The military E.R. Dr is a fucking douche and actually had the fucking balls to say that since I drove myself, walked in, and was telling jokes that he didn't think I had a heart attack it was probably a panic attack. ( do people tell jokes when they have panic attacks? I ask since I have never had one and should know in case I do have one so I don't bother any cocky E.R. Doctors.)
• 5 minutes later the same Dr was helping cut off my clothes when my fucking blood work and tests showed I had a heart attack, now whose panicking bitch.
• The Military base has a lot of Dr's but unfortunately only 1 of their heart Doctors went to the last 2 weeks of school, and he happened to be on vacation.  Go fucking figure.
• The ambulance that came to take me to Civilian hospital was super cool, but the driver had a horrible stutter and The Prince thought the ambulance guy was kidding and kept giggling and I had an O2 mask on and an IV so I couldn't tell him to stop or grab him and it was like my husband didn't notice. So now I have to fucking make cookies or shit for that poor ambulance guy, even though he didn't say anything I was like FUCK, I can't die cause The Prince has no clue he's being totally NON PC right now. Damn it.
• I should have eaten dinner Monday night or breakfast Tuesday morning before I went to the E.R. because I was NPO until Wednesday night and that sucked big and hard. 
• Wednesday at noon I met my heart surgeon he was like 5'4 and Italian, and seemed super cool, he said he was sure my heart was awesome and he was just going to drive the camera up to take a peak. I know that was code for I want to see if your carpet matches your drapes.
• I have a weakness for Italians.  So I was like sure baby, I mean Dr Olive whatevs.. wink wink.
• I tweeted-  "gotta go I am going down"
• apparently when people know you are in the hospital for a heart attack, you shouldn't use the words, "I'm going down"...   it caused quite the freak out.  whoops, my bad. 
• I was totally fucking awake in the cath lab.
• I told them I was totally fucking awake in the cath lab
• All 3 nurses and the anesthesiologist ignored me when I told them repeatedly I was awake in the cath lab.
• The have clear plastic things that come up over your arms from the shoulder down to your wrists on the table so that you can't move them in the cath lab.
• Those would work great if you weren't awake in the cath lab.
• I screamed in the cath lab when they clamped the drape to my stomach skin before they cathed my heart in the cath lab because I was FUCKING AWAKE.
• When the little Italian Dr walked up to my right side to start the procedure in the Cath lab I mentioned I was awake and even said he didn't need to cath my heart because if I had a heart condition I would be having a FUCKING HEART ATTACK SINCE I WAS FUCKING AWAKE IN THE CATH LAB.
• I felt the Dr grab up a chunk of my groin near my lovely lady bump and I said hey baby I been telling your people I am wide freaking awake here, please don't cut me I can feel everything.
• then he cut me and I was wide awake.
• The clear plastic things to hold your arms down probably sounded like a good idea in theory.
• The Dr screamed, " She's got me"
• The nurse screamed it's not sterile.
• The anesthesiologist said, "wait, she's awake"
• No fucking shit home pickle.  I hope the heart Dr punched the anesthesiologist in the dick.  
• Right after he took the frozen peas off his popped nut.
• I hope he already has kids, if not, sorry man, but you shouldn't cut a bitches groin until she is knocked out.  That hurts. mkay?
• I lived. I'm home. Surgery was on my daughter Sam-I-am's Birthday, then she Graduated from her University on Friday,  ( of course I went, it totally rhymes with complete bedrest)  
• Droid has restricted my online time, yet still wants clean clothes and food,  I can type from bed...  somethings seriously wrong with this picture.

That's it.  Now you know.  Thanks to all who loved up on me and my bruised groin and shit.....  you rock.

XO

PEACH OUT

**********************************************

Here are some of the get well posts/cards I have gotten, thanks guys, ya rock.

JC Little of @littleanimation  http://www.theanimatedwoman.com/2011/05/hearts4peachy.html

Absence of Alternatives of @SubWow
http://absenceofalternatives.com/2011/05/a-love-song-for-sandi.html

The ReckMonster of @ReckMonster  http://michellelcsw.blogspot.com/2011/05/quick-peachy-shout-out.html

Vicki of @VickiLikesFrogs  http://www.theglitterfrog.com/2011/05/get-well-soon-sandi.html

Holly of @MidWesternMamaH http://www.midwesternmamah.com/2011/05/for-fellow-blogger-prayers-postitive.html