Sunday, October 21, 2018

Don't make me slap your nostrils off

So the past couple of days I have to spend in and out of the care of people who learned what little medical knowledge the posses from Dr Kevorkian.   I am going to give you the cliff notes on this because honestly why bore with  long drawn out details that will leave you so dumbfounded and amazed you will feel like you are being offered the opportunity to see a sideshow freak for only a nickel if you step inside this big tent.

I don't have a Dr. I have  a Physicians Assistant. PA. Because the Neurologist said I was beyond his scope of care.  Obviously that means I am within the scope of care of a Physicians assistant. PA Well then my Physicians Assistant (PA)  got a promotion about 3 weeks ago so I got handed down to the assistant to the Physicians assistant so I guess that would be the APA.   So this APA has a sign in the little room I am in that says,  "due to time constraints you are only allowed to discuss 1 issue per visit."   Wow really?   It takes 6-9 weeks to get an appointment and you can't go in and say,  I have a suspicious freckle and my eyeball itches?  That's just too much for one appointment for this APA?    I could tell this was going to be bad since my 2 conditions Brain/Spine cause a laundry list of symptoms we are trying to manage through medications since my insurance feels it's silly to send me all the way to see one of the 12 doctors in the country that actually understand my condition and I wont let just anyone with a scalpel and a Cracker Jack degree dig in my brain.
So Mr Important APA  see's me trying to wrap his head around my issue and adds a new med to my lovely list of meds that consist of nothing that carries a street value of over a Flintstones vitamin so no need to rob me. He then tells me to come back Sept 1 for follow up.

They call on Aug 26 to tell me to come in Aug 30 instead.  So I do. Guess what. I am now in the care of a Nurse.  Yep.  Guess what else.  Again no clue as to what my condition is, how the medicines work nothing.
So besides the fact that I am pretty sure she hugged a few trees in the 70's she had no clue how to do diddly shit. and She screwed every single RX I have up beyond all recognition.

Then I go in today. For fasting Lab work.  Starving to death.  The 18 year old girl with my ID in her hand looks at me and says Miss PERD?  I looked at her and shook my head no.  She said yeah you Miss Perd. I said no its Mrs. Kirk, just like the ID in front of you says clearly?  OH My bad

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