Thursday, October 28, 2010

A Peachy PSA

Peachy Public Service Announcements 

Every once in a while I use my imaginary fame and rarely visited high traffic blogs  to send out very important Public Service Announcements.  This one is very near and dear to my heart.  It was sent to me in an email by a dear friend and is probably one of the most important emails I have every received.  Please  if you are not lady, you probably know a lady, so you should read this and take it to heart also.

Important Women's Health Issue:
* Do you have feelings of inadequacy?
* Do you suffer from shyness?
* Do you sometimes wish you were more assertive?
* Do you suffer exhaustion from the day to day grind?
If you answered yes to any of these questions, ask your doctor or
pharmacist about Margaritas.
Margaritas are the safe, natural way to feel better and more confident
about yourself and your actions. Margaritas can help ease you out of
your shyness and let you tell the world that you're ready and willing
to do just about anything. You will notice the benefits of Margaritas
almost immediately and with a regimen of regular doses you can
overcome any obstacles that prevent you from living the life you want
to live.
Shyness and awkwardness will be a thing of the past and you will
discover many talents you never knew you had. Stop hiding and start
living, with Margaritas.
Margaritas may not be right for everyone. Women who are pregnant or
nursing should not use Margaritas. However, women who wouldn't mind
nursing or becoming pregnant are encouraged to try it.
Side effects may include:
- Dizziness
- Nausea
- Vomiting
- Incarceration
- Erotic lustfulness
- Loss of motor control
- Loss of clothing
- Loss of money
- Loss of virginity
- Table dancing
- Headache
- Dehydration
- Dry mouth
- And a desire to sing Karaoke
* The consumption of Margaritas may make you think you are whispering
when you are not.
* The consumption of Margaritas may cause you to tell your friends over
and over again that you love them.
* The consumption of Margaritas may cause you to think you can sing.
Please share this with other women who may need Margaritas.

I have to go take care of my health now.  


Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Pink Whistles

So by now you have probably  heard about the referees that bought pink whistles for the high school game they were officiating.    ( click here if you haven't)   Pink Pom Poms, an audience filled with pink attire and pink everywhere.  It was for the Susan G Komen cancer awareness.  There was talk of ref suspension,  the refs being docked paychecks, and the refs not being allowed to coach the remaining games due to their failure to get permission on breaking the uniform code.  I saw thousands of nasty comments on the 15 or so "media" posts.
The above ref is not part of this particular incident .
Photo credit to 

I went out and read every article and watched every video clip and was so angry that this one particular guy named "Todd" that appeared to be the crowned king of douche bag land seemed to be a cold hearted  complete idiot.
The story and derogatory video clips went viral.   But I couldn't even imagine someone involved with youth sports could achieve that level of stupidity. Nor could I see the refs actually getting punished in ANY form.

So I did what any journalist would do.  I reserved judgement and wrote the Board an email.  Here's what I sent them.
Sent: Sunday, October 24, 2010 6:11:20 PM
Subject: a moment of sanity

Dear Mr. Todd Stordahl ; ( it was CC'd to the entire board, President and Vice President)

Hello, My name is _________. I live on the Gulf of Mexico in the lovely state of _____________.  I was made aware of this story via some of my journalist friends.  I am a writer, I have also been involved in community service, local boards, youth sports and Municipal Government over my life time.  So I come to you from a point of possible open understanding of your situation.  I am aware interviews can and are often edited to skew the broadcast in one light or another.  I really hope that is what has happened to you.  I really hope that you honestly do not have the attitude and malcontent as shown in the clips I witnessed.

I am not one to jump on a bandwagon without hearing all sides and I do indeed understand the ever present need for rules and when children are involved the elevated importance of the adults setting the example.

I am not aware of all the details in this situation but instead simply what the media has "opted" to show.  Which is pretty much you appearing as a heartless rouge stealing babies candy and laughing in the face of breast cancer.  I am sure this is NOT an accurate description of the situation.

I implore you to please find a solution to this situation in which you and your refs can grow from and be projected in a positive light.

I am sure you are flooded with nasty emails, so this will not be one of them.  I have found myself in your shoes more than once facing my enforcement of a regulation that people saw me a cruel hearted witch over.  I over came them through much sacrifice.  This particular battle Todd it could literally end you.  The subject matter is so close to the heart of everyone that there is not a "proper" way to oppose it without a barrage of bullying from the very people who scream so adamantly against that behavior, yet can not see that they have become the very thing they are against.

May I suggest that you do allow these refs, whose hearts were clearly in the right place for this event to continue officiating games,  while the league itself makes a public donation and holds a press conference to "mend" the public image.  In addition dedicate a " special game"  towards this event 1 time a year, where the game may have pink cleats, a pink ball, and pink whistles.  Bring the pink ball to the conference.  As you know we are more than what we are perceived as, yet we all live as we are perceived. Not only will the national spot light view your board as wonderful supporters but it will give a chance for your players and board to be seen and set a precedent as a community that cares. 

Too many people have been touched by breast cancer, and the very fact that men are involved in a health situation that claims, wifes, mothers, daughter, sisters, teachers can not be over looked, and should be rewarded not punished.

In Government there was always an expression I would like to share with you as it may shed some light on the refs thinking.  " If you believe something to be right and morally upstanding, it is better to ask for forgiveness then fill out the paperwork for permission"

I hope that in the sea of email you receive that this one will let you know, there is some damage control and bridges that need attention.

The main issues needed to be handled with your press and it's affiliates.  However I do offer you an unedited 2 paragraph explanation and resolution that I will publish to my readers, as I refuse to join the popular bandwagon and immediately throw people under the bus due to 1 sided reports.

Best of Luck 

In less than 24 hours I had a response form the board. You will probably never see their honest view point on the internet,  so before you jump on bandwagons I want you to see their response.

Thank you for your comments.  
The Washington Officials Association is completely in support of Breast Cancer Awareness Month, the Susan G. Komen Foundation, and many other worthy causes.  We sincerely regret that the media coverage has given a different impression.  The media has not accurately reported the entire story.  The issue at hand is not about wearing pink whistles at a football game.  The WOA has not and will not suspend, reprimand, or take game checks away from any officials for wearing pink whistles.  The WOA has a process for reviewing decisions made by our commissioner and our member associations.  That process will be followed and all affected parties will have an opportunity to present their side of the story.  We only ask that you reserve judgment until you hear the complete story not just what you see and hear in the media.


Vice President
WOA Executive Board
This is the response I am sending to the many emails I have received.  I want to thank you for not letting the emotions of this situation overshadow the possibility that the media reports are wrong.  As you stated, the media reports to get ratings not to expose the truth.  You will probably never hear about it, but the truth is not very interesting.  In fact, several news outlets heard the whole story and decided not report on it.  A few decided they could find an interesting angle.  That is what has now gone viral.  Thanks for your consideration and well thought out comments.


It's so easy in todays world, to see something, for it to go viral, for a view to be skewed.  Out of instinct we slam our fingers down on the keyboard with our knee jerk fight for fairness and without all the details join a virtual lynch mob.  I ask you, educated, dedicated, and good hearted readers.  Use snopes, get your news from more than 1 source and when possible directly contact those involved to hear all sides before sending a package of dog poop to the Evil person  or furthering the misinformation.  I am still out on this situation and until I see what happens and actually discover the truth for myself I wont be acting or speaking against either side.


Monday, October 25, 2010

An island

I wrote my posts in time for all my deadlines.  I had them all saved for the differant places I write.
I set them up to be auto mailed so I could actually sleep.  I woke up to find out.


A neato side note is that my house phone is through my internet.
Second neato side note- my cell phone doesn't get reception in my house.

So  I woke up an island. 

None of my articles got sent out which means my internet went out prior to 4am.  I couldn't call to apologize because I had no phone.

I walked out about 50 feet from my house in my Pj's and sent a simple text.

"No internet"

I sent it to 50 people and walked inside because honestly who needs to stay out in the yard in their PJ's to get yelled out via text messages.

So around 730pm we got a connection that is slightly less spectacular than dial up. But it allowed me to tweet, update my facebook, put up a post on each of my blogs and send off the other articles even though they are roughly 13 hours past deadline.

Monday,  there is a special part of my fat freckled ass for you to kiss.  

Friday, October 22, 2010

I ain't your Average Bear Boo Boo

I love Yogi and Boo Boo, I just want to pick up a pic a nic basket now.  Filled with yummy stuff like potato salad, and ham and a pie.  I love food, either I am a pig or a Bear, I guess that depends on the time of day and if you piss me off or not.

My kids seriously pissed me off all the time,  but usually not on the same day. Because no one needs me to lose what little is left of my mind.

So you can imagine how the shit rained down  on their collective parade  when they BOTH got in trouble at school on the same day.

After the school meetings and such I set forth to make them hate me. To realize that psychological warfare was not invented by the Government, but instead in the real trenches, where your momma does indeed wear combat boots.

For dinner they got liver, cauliflower, whole wheat bread and tonic water.  Now I realize some of you may be going OMG YUM!  To you I say WTH  are you serious that shit is totally nasty. It's like organs with a side dish of coagulated zit.  Lucky for me. My kids feel the same way. Which made it AWESOME.

not Yum just uhm and eww.

But I wasn't going to eat that crap, I didn't get in trouble at work that day, which is part of the reason I ordered pizza to be followed by an ice cream sundae social  and Soft Drinks for me and their Dad.  Why?  Isn't it clear folks. I am an evil witch.

We ate it all  making yum yum moaning noises in front of the kids who sat there crying and pissed with their ubber disgusting meal.  

Pouting, attitude, tears, and finally one of them screamed, " I am going to turn you in, this is child abuse".

That was the pivotal moment that brought them a new speech and a new understanding.

I began with, "  really?  the law says I have to feed you,  the meal in front of you is not only food, but very nutritious, I find it hard for this to be child abuse in the eyes of the law."

The blank stares back from my children alerted me that I had their full attention.

So I then explained they owned nothing,  not the shoes, the clothes, the books, the toys or even their bedrooms.  Those were all mine, but I was generous enough to let them "use" my things.

I also reminded them the law only says you have to be clothed, it does not specify that it has to be name brand totally awesome and in fashion.  That they could indeed go to school in flower print and plaid overalls with hand me down shirts saying things like " I love figure skating"  or "my parents love me".

By this point I had their attention, and my point had gotten through quite nicely.   For the next 13 years I had no debate, no discussion and definitely no more days that they both had a call from the school.

Yep that's how I roll,  also see, " more reasons I wont ever get mother of the year" 

Go out and enjoy your weekend, be safe and laugh often.


Wednesday, October 20, 2010

I had to stop dancing Naked

First you must know that my daughter is awesome, responsible, brilliant and she farts glitter.  She had her first 2 years of college near our home on scholarship, once she got her AS  she had to move a few hours away on her own to attend the University of which she pays for by herself.  (Thank you douchebag grant and scholarship people I hope the people you give the free education to actually use for something other than a meth lab)

In August 2009, she had just left home, spreading her confident wings when  less than a week and sent me an email detailing her daily struggles in a new town.  The end of it surprised me because she said,
 " Pray for me that I don’t get lost, I don’t get rained out, I make new friends, and that I get to Applebee’s on time and DON’T lock my keys in my car!

I love you and I can’t wait to see you this weekend.

Sam's not a super religious person but clearly the compounding stress drove her to this request and I could tell she was homesick and a bundle of nerves.  At this point most mom's would have said something inspirational, motivational and loving.  I am not most mom's and the response I gave her is probably one of the reasons I will never be mother of the year.

Dearest Samantha,
    In accordance with your written formal request for prayer ( which dumbfounded me)  I immediately began the prayer procedure of my choice due to the fact you failed to outline the type of religion or diety rules.  Therefore the official minutes of the prayer meeting are enclosed as follows:
1-  the nekkie dancing under the moon with candles and flowers began at precisly 11am,
2- the wood nymphs watched in horror at my wiggidy whack dance moves for aproximately 15 minutes
3- around 1115 the majoritey (2/3rds) of the wood nymphs began puking
4-those wood nymphs who were not puking joined in my prayer dance
5- by midnight, the woods surrounding our house were sufficiantly cleared of those wildlife without a previous visual impairment.
6- by 1245am, the police showed up in haz mat gear saying they were responding to a suicide call from a racoon who was obviously driven to the state of madness from watching my fat ass jiggle around nekkie in the yard attempting to summons good tidings to you from the gods.
7- by 1am I was served with official legal notice from law enforcement to cease and dessist all nekkie dancing.
8- by 130am a judge came to the house after being woken up by the police chief due to an immediate danger to all citizens.
9- by 2am I was officially charge with animal cruelty and terrorist activites via my nudity and jiggling.
10-at 210am I entered a plea to a lesser charge and made an oath to never dance nekkie under the moon again for any reason.
11- by 230 all paperwork was notarized and filed in triplicate form, with the county clerks office, and 2 drunk wood nymphs were my witness.
12- at aproximately 305am I asked your father to summons his indian ancestors via a tribal dance
13- by 308 your father had fallen in one of the massive holes in our yard and twisted his ankle
13-b-  he landed in a pile of wood nymph puke
14- smelling like wood nymph puke and being injured, 3 drunk wood nymphs then violated your father in ways too illicet for me to speak of.
15- I beat the wood nymps off and out of your father using my bra as a sling shot and dante turds from the dirty kitty litter box as amo.
16- by 319am the wood nymphs were defeated by my ample supply of amo
17- at 325am I applied neosporin to your fathers wood nymph love bites and put him to bed
18- at 350am I placed my slingshot/bra in the washer
19- at 355am the police returned as they had a report from a pissed off armadillo that there was a domestic disturbance and possible sexual assult at this address.
20- by 415 am I had sucessfully bamboozeled the police into believe you dad is just a kinky dude and we were having fun.
21- at 420 am I quietly lit candles for you.
22- at 430 am I slipped into the tub to relax and meditate for good vibes for you.
23- at 440am I began to smell smoke
24- at 445am I began to worry about the smell of smoke
25- at 450 I convinced myself I should get out of the tub and do something about the smell of smoke
26- at 5am I came out to the family room to find ferries smoking a big fattie
27- at 510am I got out the cheetos, mt dew, recees cups and bong, and joined the ferries
28- around aproximately 530am me and the ferries got into a heavy discussion about politics and religion we were in strong disagreance but to stoked to fight
29- by 6am I thought the ferries should leave since alex would be up soon for school
30- at 610am I was escorting the ferries out a couple of wood nymphs saw me with the ferries and a big woodland mythical species gang style war broke out
31- at 620am the sun came up and all the mayham and lifeless bodies that were causalites of the woodland war just disappeared making little "poof" noises
32- at 630am alex woke up and I told him to help me pray your day would go good.
he blew out the candles, bowed his head and said, dear god, please keep my sissy safe and happy today in everything she needs,  and oh yeah, tell my mom to keep her bong in her closet.
33- I am promoting alex to the king of the prayer request club.
Hope everything is AWESOME FOR YOU MY DEAR....
I love you

So I ask you my friends is it any wonder she changed her major to Abnormal Psychology?  She get's her bachelors in May.  I intend on keeping her busy with family stuff.


* disclaimer*  I do not now, nor have ever owned a bong. Nor was my husband violated by fictional creatures.  Because if he was it would totally be on you-tube.

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

In Your Face International Trade !

Are you kidding me?   Everything I own is made in Tiwan or China.  I went to purchase an American Flag and guess what it was too.  So what does America produce anymore?  Is anything actually MADE here.

I just feel like we don't make anything anymore yet we have some of the highest standards in the world.

I was so upset over this epiphany that I loaded up my family and went to the authentic Chinese Buffet.

They don't speak English, but they smile and their food is so good ( No MSG)  and priced just right.  At the end of the meal our waitress brought us our Fortune Cookies.   We always laugh and say who should have gotten which fortune cookie.  Then as I grabbed up the little plastic wrapper I saw this.


220-222 Moore Street
Brooklyn, NY 11206

Hell yeah !  Take that international Trade !  Boo Ya ! The fortune cookies at the Authentic Chinese restaurant were ....


Sunday, October 17, 2010

just KILL me now please.

I hate bugs.   No seriously I freaking HATE bugs.  I had to look at thousands of their pictures. I had to hot glue the decaying falling apart stinking bug bodies to a board.

Fair Exhibit People-  this is NOT freaking cool.  You did this just to push me over the ledge I have been balancing on so delicately for so many years.

For the love of my son and the fact I made a commitment/promise to him that he would get to do this project I suffered unmentionable mental and physical torture.

It's super hard to type while breathing in this paper bag while making grain alcohol in pantyhose with toilet water.
I am fumbling with the phone and pushing #3 for mental health.  

I have to go and soak in more bleach, because I just thought about when the Banana Spiders leg moved as I was jabbing a pin in it's body.

I would rather rake my crotch across broken glass riddled red hot coals while jabbing razor blades under my finger nails and  soak my tongue in boiling hot lava while digging out my eyes with a spoon then EVER look at another bug.

So here,  join in my pain.

I have to go the people with the white coats are going to be here soon and I need to go bleach myself one more time.


Friday, October 15, 2010

Safe Words and Dirty Money

So there I was for the first time in my life SPEECHLESS....

See my 21 year old daughter had come home from college for a couple days, and we had to run by the banks for her. Yes I said the banks. Because apparently not only is my daughter a better person, a smarter person, a more sober person, she is also better with money, so much better that she uses 3 banks. Yes 21, putting herself thru college, and 3 banks. All with money in them? WTH?  How did this happen?  I am not looking a gift horse in the mouth here people, I support her success  whole heartedly I mean she is the one who will pick out and probably pay for my nursing home in a few years.

I don't know maybe she took my philosophy on how to be an adult, " just do the opposite of your parents". It seemed to work for me. I mean I got a kid in college, paying her own way legally and stuff and wow, she has all these bank accounts and no debt.. ( I know again with the WTH?).

If you have been reading along you have seen my praises about my daughter, and how she is so on track with the non drinking and non dating and not wanting to get distracted until she is done with college and secure with herself and  blah blah blah, basically the complete opposite of everything I did. Which was advance drinking 303, right before I changed majors 3 kabillion and five times before dropping out to become a proam drinker just a mere semester prior to the degree.  But alas life on the road was too much and I settled down.

So as we pulled up to the last bank she didn't need to go in she used the ATM and it asked her enough questions to determine the  color of her under garments and she was getting steamed.  Then it took too long to print out the receipt.   She the did the unthinkable as she jerked the harmless little piece of paper out.  She cursed at the ATM.


I said in my best Mommy voice, " Honey you know your on tape when you use those ATM's ?"

She looked at me with a look like I had just insulted her intelligance then turned to the machine and started.

samantha my daughter spring break 09 in new orleans

" To whoever is watching this.  As much as I pay you to babysit my money, as much as I pay you in your  fees, you need to know this.  I cussed at your machine. I didn't punch it, but I can. As much of my money as you suck away without providing me at the very least a human with a substandard IQ  to deal with I should be able to slap your machine around, and your machine should talk dirty to me, instead of just words on a screen I should get to select the voice and accent and an option to choose the level of filth I complete my financial transaction in.  In fact, I want to feel like I need a drink when I leave this ATM, I want it to be so Raunchy my ATM has a safe word. That would be customer service worth paying for."

She then drove away as if nothing had just happened.

Ok she is totally my daughter... and I want to be her when I grow up.

 dirty servant atm

Have a great weekend y'all !


Thursday, October 14, 2010

Fire Crotch- revisited.

The setting:  my house, well over a decade ago.
The issue:  I had to wear pantyhose to work every day even in the sweltering heat. That weekend I had been on this mad hiking trip in 3782 degree weather with 700% humidity.  I think I wore jorts because it was the 90's and I was that cool.   To finish off my trilogy of terror the next day I went to a 50 acre water park and proudly sloshed my wet shorts over my bathing suit wearing sexy self over every inch of that hell pit.

As all  most of  you ladies who experience insane heat know there are 3 deadly things to avoid in extreme heat.

1-Long walks/hiking in the heat in jorts ( thigh length jean shorts).
2-Short walks in extreme heat wearing panty hose.
3- Wet shorts over your bathing suit at a huge water park after doing 1 or 2.

So you get the picture.  If you don't here is a visual aid. My thighs had less skin on them than your knuckles after a cheese grater incident.

tinker belles butt shows where I had no skin left on my thighs
"Thank you Walt Disney for lending me tinks butt as a visual aid."

Yes even the fold where your butt cheeks meets your thighs was red and skinless. (if you know not which fold I speak of, you're young show your but off while you can, soon you will be able to hold a pencil there). I know hot right?  You think I'm sexy, you want to kiss me.

I tried everything and let me tell you people soaking in a tub is like sitting in boric acid, not really a brilliant idea when you are in the chaffed thighs and butt hall of fame.

So I sat around the house in a sun dress going commando cause that's my privilege plus the idea of fabric even possibly touching my thighs made me scream in an octave high enough to break glass.

After about the 30th ibuprofen  chugged down with medicinal vodka. I went to the cupboard like old Mother Hubbard to dig for some type of glorious topical relief.

Then I saw THIS  and I heard Angels singing.

gold bond cream and angels singing for quick relief
"I only saw the parts I underlined. Quick Fix - Relief . blah help. Angels singing"

I had never used this product and had no idea how it ended up in my cabinet. Clearly it was divine intervention.  or I bought it when  my kids had poison ivy/sumac/oak.

So I grabbed the tube of angelic cream that promised a quick fix, fast relief and all that jazz. 
probably because my judgement was impaired due to alcohol and or pain.

I slathered up my thighs and butt like I was putting on SPF Eleventy Kabillion for my trip to the surface of the sun.

Confident in my new found angelic cure I  walked into the living room and flopped my  sun dress wearing commando butt on the couch. The events that followed will be reenacted with interpretative dance since I am pretty sure I either blocked it out or blacked out not sure.

diagram of what mushes together when a woman crosses her legs
"Important information aka the beginning of the end.."
"Important information aka the beginning of the end.."
This seems like a good time for an important PSA

screaming flaming crotch
I call this one the flaming crotch of death."
ballet dancer with fire shooting out of crotch
"I realize that looks like a squid shot out of my crotch, but it's interpretative dance people, those are flames"

In the midst of the medicinal scalding of my lovely lady hump.  I thought fast and headed for the bathroom to rinse of my milkshake and stop the pain. I was so graceful and lady like I heard it looked like a ballet.


This ends the interpretive dance section of this post.  

( mostly because I suck at it )

The truth is. If you ever had a dog, or been at someones house with a dog, or seen a dog in a park or a neighbors yard.  You already know what I looked like.

a dog scooting his butt across the lawn
"All reports say this is a more accurate depiction of my movements"

and I screamed .. " E ! E! E!" all the way home to the bathtub, where I flipped myself over the edge of the tub like a walrus and put my hoo hah as close to the ice cold running water as possible for a few hours

There ya have it guys,  do NOT chemically scald your cooter today and there's a good chance your Week will be better than mine.  My name is ThePeachy1 and I suffer from Epic Asshattedness.



** DISCLAIMER**  2 thighs and 1 Vaj were critically injured during in the making of this post. However they have recovered nicely since it was about a decade ago. They are still in therapy working out their hatred for me.
**ANOTHER DISCLAIMER** this is not a sponsored post, a review or anything other than a story of me being a twit. Obviously who would pay for advertising like that?"

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Stop it

Today my dalmatian Loki came in smelling like he had rolled in poop.   I was like wow that's tragic.

Then I was alerted to a mom that's a blogger that got so much hate mail and nasty comments when she guest posted that she nearly shut down her own blog.

inconceivable?  not in blog land.

Then I was told about the mom who had lost her baby and was being bullied and tortured with people even calling the coroner and arranging a protest at the funeral for her baby.


a choice.  both of them a choice.

Neither of these woman made hateful, mean or malicious choices, but instead chose to express their right to love and parent in the matter that was their own.  Yet they were both attacked.  Virtually time and time again.

I remember the time someone made ugly comments about a preemie baby who had passed as a toddler.
The entire internet blew up supporting this family.  Through their grief they created an amazing legacy for their little one.

Here's my thing,  what caliber person do you have to be to spew hate, anger, righteousness, and your way or no way thinking?  You fight for acceptance yet you do such wretched things I literally gag when I see the shit you spew.  Stop your screaming from the rooftops for the rights and freedoms of the group de jour.
And be a freaking human.   I am disgusted with people right now not all of them, and I certainly will not go around leaving nasty comments on their blogs.

So STOP IT damn it.

We are so busy fighting and arguing , enforcing our soap boxes, that we forgot the golden rule.  Treat others as you wish to be treated.   No labels just be humane to each other.

Read another post on the subject  over at  Holly's 
I consider her a real friend, even though we have never met ( that we know of)  and we do disagree on many things,  Respectfully.  Because we are grown ups, and have more in common than we have differences.

here's a little diddy for you-  the word bigot is defined asa prejudiced person who is intolerant of any opinions differing from his own.

Who exactly is showing intolerance?


Tuesday, October 12, 2010

No shit

A man went to church one day and afterward he stopped to shake the preacher's hand. He said, 'Preacher, I'll tell you, that was a damned fine sermon. Damned good!'
The preacher said, 'Thank you sir, but I'd rather you didn't use profanity.'
The man said, 'I was so damned impressed with that sermon I put five thousand dollars in the offering plate!'

The preacher said, 'No shit?'

This is pretty hilarious.  Sadly it's also the way I see a lot of people in social media.   Don't do this, don't do that, and then by all means don't judge anyone.   

Wow.  Really?  All you do is judge, and then you hide behind your " cause of the week" as you jump on whatever bandwagon you can find.   Although some of the causes are fully deserving of  attention and support.  I can barely look at what you write because I remember your 2 faced bullshit from the last 5 trips you took down "Righteous Road". 

Honestly I wish I could send a bunch of flowers to these people that said, " get the fuck over yourselves".  signed   "no shit ".

What's so odd, is the very people fighting for all these causes have on such huge blinders they can do nothing but spew hate upon anyone who thinks differently than them while spewing about how we all need to be supportive and understanding to others.  While not even getting to know the person who may think differently.

I am baffled y'all.... No shit.


Monday, October 11, 2010

Good News for Radio Shack !

I have been working with the FBI over the past few days but I did NOT put that GPS on Yasir Afifi  car.  

If you look at the pictures of that thing it looks like ( a bad ass sex toy) some type of 1960 James Bond type shit.  Hardly the modern high tech stuff I would hope our FBI would have access to.
This thing just needs a sexy toy name.  Photo: 

Why do we even need these devices anymore?  

4 Square,  Facebook,  twitter locations, and the biggest ever Big Brother- On Star.

My 9 year old can find anyone, their personal history, tax records,  credit score, who they went to kindergarten with, and the color of the undergarments they wore on last Tuesday at 3pm EST.

So FBI,  don't waste your $29.95 out of my tax dollars at radio shack on the clearance isle.  Please.  Just pick up the phone and ask me, I will ask my kid to stop playing xbox and solve your problems.

Or you can shoot me an electronic message using your fancy new technologically advanced computer that fits in just 1 room.
Al Gore invented something called the internet, give it a try.


Saturday, October 9, 2010

Hi guys, it's me.  Yep, ThePeachy1.   As you may have noticed  or  notI have been a little absent.
 I had some super secret stuff to tend to I will fill you all in with as much detail as I can next week.  But you know I am an avid supporter of not posting on the weekend. because I am lazy.
( only for me- I like for other people to post because it gives me stuff to read when I can't sleep)

To be honest Tuesday and Wednesday were seriously a blur here and by Wednesday night I knew I was probably going to have to disappear like the loch ness monster during tourist season.

At 10:09pm CST on Wednesday I sent an email on Facebook to 4 people who have never met me.  Yes they are bloggers.  Yes they are funny and yes I consider them my friends.   I told them I had to bolt, no explanation, no questions were asked.  Within 5 minutes they had it covered, and within a few hours everyone of them responded.  They stepped in and covered 2 blogs for 2 days.  4 Posts for me,  4 Posts for you.   This isn't since the typical "you're at the store would you mind getting me some butter?" type favor people.   This is would you mind sharing a piece of you, your writing, yourself on my spot on the internet for my readers without any warning.

So I put aside my stance of refusing to work on the weekends to because it causes global warming FACT !  (Save the polar bears y'all)

I have to dedicate every internet magic sparkle I have to the people who stepped in, stepped up and covered my ass like granny panties.  ( Holly I think this earns you the right to any organ I have more than 1 of since this is the eleventy kabillinth time.)

I would love to send them all exotic dancers flowers,  chocolates, home made cookies, cheesecake,  and

vodka  fine wine.  But I have none of that.  So I give them my most sincere appreciation and gratitude.  Last time I checked they weren't accepting gratituted as a form of payment at the power company so if you lovely readers would hop over and check them out, you will more than likely fall in love and follow them just like me.

The Infamous #Sybil to my #Eve  Good Golly Miss Holly over at MidWesternMamah


The Mysterious  Miley-  often confused but quite confident and a closet grammar cop.

I  spent hours looking for songs on the internet that said thank you.  You know what I found out?  You get golden girls,  sarcasm or a hidden love song, and although I love them madly it didn't get my point across appropriately of just how much I appreciate what friends will do for each other.
Then  I found this.  And it was perfect.

I also made the ladies this

my friends covered my ass like granny panties
That's some serious coverage y'all !

I hope you all have a splendiferous  weekend !



Thursday, October 7, 2010

A Boil On The Buttocks Of Society

I guess it should have really come as no surprise to me when I read that Glen Beck has once again proven that he is a festering boil on the ass cheeks of the world. I'm talking about the man who once (while)on air phoned the wife of a competitor and cruelly mocked her for having just suffered a miscarriage. The same man who went so far as to insinuate that his competitor "couldn't do anything right, including make a baby." Well he has struck again.

This time he not only mocks Gene Cranick, the man who lost his home when local firefighters refused to extinguish the fire, but he also sides with the Fire Department who made the decision not to respond. Beck stated:
 "Cranick got what he deserved, as a good-for-nothing freeloader, who would be “sponging off” his neighbors, if the county firefighters didn’t take a stand."

Beck and his co-hose ( typo, but since it fits, it stays)  Pat Gray goes on to mock Mr Cranick's southern accent through out most of their segment seemingly taking great pleasure in portraying him as a bumbling redneck.

ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME?? WHY???!! Do people listen to this man? Not only listen, but believe and support the rhetoric and hate he spews?? Beck epitomizes everything that is wrong about this country. From the ME ME attitude to the looking down upon the less fortunate and turning our collective backs on our fellow man.

Glen Beck... do us all a favor and Die In A Fire while begging someone to put you out.

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Sometimes I Want To Throat Punch Bitches

Hey there! For those of you that don't know me I'm Holly aka Midwesternmamah. I do a little blog thing called Are You Serious? . I will be here today and tomorrow pinch hitting for the Peachy1 who is presently being held totally at her own will by Brendan Fraser as his personal sex slave. Some bitches have all the luck, right?
I apologize for to those of you who may have already seen this on my Facebook page, but if you happen to not be one of my FB buds.. this shit will be new to you. Ready?  Here goes?

I have a little secret, I love the whole celebrity gossip thing. Cant get enough of it. I especially love it when it involves them falling from grace or just being shit house drunk and falling on their face... Lindsey, I'm talking to you.

That being said there are some that I just can not stand. Some that I hate with the red hot passion of a thousand suns. Which is what brings us to the heart of my rambling.

Last night I was on "the Twitter" ( thank you Betty White) and one of the folks I follow Re Tweeted something that just made me just lose my shit.. really it doesnt take much, but I digress. This is it -
< the re-tweet

< my explanation of my going off

< what I actually tweeted to KK.

Kim Kardashian bemoaning the fact that she was being watched?? Bitch please... every single thing you do is geared toward publicity.. including your sex tape that "accidentally" got released. Girl, you got famous for getting pissed on. You're a nasty, attention whore who would pop a cap in her own mother's ass if there was publicity to be gained from it.

Want people to go away and leave you alone?? STOP seeking the attention. Otherwise, just STFU and own it.

Friday, October 1, 2010

I am thinking..

Shut up.  I can friggin think if I want.  They started letting women do that like 50 years ago or something.

It only took like 150 years of us being allowed to read to get people to realize we could think, then do stupid shit like own land and vote.   Seriously we are powerful.

Then this stupid slut/whore/moron reporter stomps into a locker room and ignites all kinds of shit. Paris Hilton crotch smuggling, while Lindsey Lohan thinks the mug shot office her her new personal photo shoot.  I am so freaking sick and tired of all these women thinking they represent anyone.
I'm so offended you looked at my body I was flaunting while you were half naked in the shower? OMG.

Blanket statement to all humans-
because frankly that fucking offends the hell out of me.

( except the military because hell yeah, I totally respect the fact you fight for that shit EVERY DAMN DAY, for a majority of morons who don't give you enough respect, you people in the military I want you to always have my back, cause you have awesome toys and your pretty much badass)

I will choose when I am damn good and ready to be offended by something and if some over indulged stupid half twit dumb fuck gets herself in a bind,  the plaid shirt belt buckle wearing bitches don't need to act like they represent everyone with a uterus.  

It's not only women people, think about it.  Al Sharpton?  hello?

I missed the day they were handing out the titles of totally responsible for representing an entire group of people no matter if they don't need representing.

so everybody.  STFU.  seriously.  voice your opinion only.  if you don't have one.  get one or sit there quietly but don't let others tell you how to feel.