Wednesday, January 18, 2012

All it takes for Evil to prevail is

Please visit these sites today......  - Cartoon explanation with Jesus Oprah a jet ski and Kittens. = Awesome  - Best Animator on the Web supporting us all the way from Canada,  this is indeed a global issue people.    My blog under my domain, the original and light hearted Being Peachy.

If you are blacked out or have a post about the black out PLEASE FEEL FREE TO LINK TO YOUR BLOG OR PAGE OR A POSTER OF YOU OR WHATEVER  IN THE COMMENTS.


Tuesday, January 17, 2012

That Cat

We were dressed and ready to go out for the New Year's Eve Party. We turned
on a night light, turned the answering machine on, covered our pet parakeet
and put the cat in the backyard. We phoned the local cab company and
requested a taxi. The taxi arrived and we opened the front door to leave the

As we walked out the door, the cat we had put out in the yard, scoots back
into the house. We didn't want the cat shut in the house because she always
tries to eat the bird. My wife goes on out to the taxi, while I went back
inside to get the cat. The cat runs upstairs, with me in hot pursuit.

Waiting in the cab, my wife doesn't want the driver to know that the house
will be empty for the night. So, she explains to the taxi driver that I will
be out soon, "He's just going upstairs to say goodbye to my mother."

A few minutes later, I get into the cab. "Sorry I took so long," I said, as
we drove away. "That stupid bitch was hiding under the bed. I had to poke
her ass with a coat hanger to get her to come out! She tried to take off, so
I grabbed her by the neck. Then, I had to wrap her in a blanket to keep her
from scratching me. But it worked! I hauled her fat ass downstairs and threw
her out into the back yard! She better not shit in the vegetable garden

The silence in the cab was deafening.

Monday, January 9, 2012

Monday Punny Monday

All these jokes came straight from Facebook off JP wall.

I was devastated to find out my wife was having an affair but, by turning to religion, I was soon able to come to terms with the whole thing. I converted to Islam and we're stoning her in the morning!
~ ~ ~
The wife suggested I get myself one of those penis enlargers, so I did .... she's 21 and her name's Lucy.
~ ~ ~
Went to the pub with my girlfriend last night. Locals were shouting "pedophile!" and other names at me, just because my girlfriend is 21 and I'm 50. It completely spoiled our 10th anniversary.
~ ~ ~
My son was thrown out of school today for letting a girl in his class give him a hand job. I said "Son, that's 3 schools this year! You'd better stop before you're banned from teaching altogether."
~ ~ ~
Question - Are there too many immigrants in the United States ?
17% said yes;
11% said No;
72% said "I am not understanding the question please. Me no speaka engrish."
~ ~ ~
The cost of living has now gotten so bad that my wife is having sex with me because she can't afford batteries!
~ ~ ~
A teacher goes around her class asking each of the kids what do they need at home.
1st kid says "A computer".
Teacher replies "That would be very useful."
2nd kid says "a new lawn mower" and gets a similar response.
Little Johnny pops up and says "At my house we don't need nothin."
The teacher asks him to think again carefully as everybody needs something.
Little Johnny replies, "no I'm sure." "When my sister started going out with a pimp, I remember my dad saying, "Well, that's the last damned thing we need."
~ ~ ~
A man calls 911 and says "I think my wife is dead". The operator says, "How do you know?" He says "The sex is about the same, but the ironing is piling up!"
~ ~ ~
My girlfriend says she thinks that I might be a stalker. Well ... she's not exactly my girlfriend yet.
~ ~ ~
I was explaining to my wife last night that when you die you get reincarnated but must come back as a different creature. She said she would like to come back as a cow. I said, "You obviously haven't been listening."
~ ~ ~
My wife has been missing a week now. The police said to prepare for the worst. So, I had to go down to Goodwill to get all of her clothes back.
~ ~ ~
The Red Cross just knocked on my door and asked if we could contribute towards the floods in Pakistan. I said we'd love to, but our garden hose only reaches to the driveway.

Suck it Monday you bitch,  I will cut you.


Friday, January 6, 2012

Balls to the Wall Friday

A ragged, old, derelict shuffled into a down and dirty bar. Stinking of whiskey and cigarettes, his hands shook as he took the "Piano Player Wanted" sign from the window and handed it to the bartender.

"I'd like to apply for the job," he said. "I was an F-4 pilot, flying off carriers back in ' Nam , but when they retired the Phantom all the thrill was gone, and soon they cashed me in as well. I learned to play the piano at O-Club happy hours, so here I am."

The barkeep wasn't too sure about this doubtful looking old guy, but it had been quite a while since he had a piano player and business was falling off. So, why not give him a try.

The seedy pilot staggered his way over to the piano while several patrons snickered. By the time he was into his third bar of music, every voice was silenced.

What followed was a rhapsody of soaring music unlike anything heard in the bar before. When he finished there wasn't a dry eye in the place.

The bartender took the old fighter pilot a beer and asked him the name of the song he had just played.

It's called "Drop your Skivvies, Baby, I'm Going Balls To The Wall For You" he said. After a long pull from the beer, leaving it empty, he said "I wrote it myself."

The bartender and the crowd winced at the title, but the piano player just went on into a knee-slapping, hand-clapping bit of ragtime that had the place jumping. After he finished, the fighter pilot acknowledged the applause, downed a second proffered mug, and told the crowd the song was called, "Big Boobs Make My Afterburner Light.

He then launched into another mesmerizing song and everyone in the room was enthralled. He announced that it was the latest rendition of his song, "Spread 'em Baby, It's Foggy Out Tonight and I Need To See The Centerline", excused himself and headed for the john.

When he came out the bartender went over to him and said, "Hey, fly boy, the job is yours; but, do you know your fly is open and your pecker is hanging out?"

"Know it?", the old fighter pilot replied, "Hell, I wrote it!"