Wednesday, February 8, 2012

You better be freaking kidding me.


Here are the Stellas for year -- 2011:


Kathleen Robertson of Austin, Texas was awarded $80,000 by a jury of her peers after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who was running inside a furniture store. The store owners were understandably surprised by the verdict, considering the running toddler was her own son

Start scratching!


Carl Truman, 19, of Los Angeles , California won $74,000 plus medical expenses when his neighbor ran over his hand with a Honda Accord. Truman apparently didn't notice there was someone at the wheel of the car when he was trying to steal his neighbor's hubcaps.

Scratch some more...


Terrence Dickson, of Bristol , Pennsylvania , who was leaving a house he had just burglarized by way of the garage. Unfortunately for Dickson, the automatic garage door opener malfunctioned and he could not get the garage door to open. Worse, he couldn't re-enter the house because the door connecting the garage to the house locked when Dickson pulled it shut. Forced to sit for eight, count 'em, EIGHT days and survive on a case of Pepsi and a large bag of dry dog food, he sued the homeowner's insurance company claiming undue mental Anguish. Amazingly, the jury said the insurance company must pay Dickson $500,000 for his anguish. We should all have this kind of anguish Keep scratching. There are more...

Double hand scratching after this one..


Jerry Williams, of Little Rock, Arkansas, garnered 4th Place in the Stella's when he was awarded $14,500 plus medical expenses after being bitten on the butt by his next door neighbor's beagle - even though the beagle was on a chain in its owner's fenced yard. Williams did not get as much as he asked for because the jury believed the beagle might have been provoked at the time of the butt bite because Williams had climbed over the fence into the yard and repeatedly shot the dog with a pellet gun.

Pick a new spot to scratch, you're getting a bald spot..


Amber Carson of Lancaster, Pennsylvania because a jury ordered a Philadelphia restaurant to pay her $113,500 after she slipped on a spilled soft drink and broke her tailbone. The reason the soft drink was on the floor: Ms. Carson had thrown it at her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier during an argument. What ever happened to people being responsible for their own actions?

Only two more so ease up on the scratching...


Kara Walton, of Claymont , Delaware sued the owner of a night club in a nearby city because she fell from the bathroom window to the floor, knocking out her two front teeth. Even though Ms. Walton was trying to sneak through the ladies room window to avoid paying the $3.50 cover charge, the jury said the night club had to pay her $12,000....oh, yeah, plus dental expenses. Go figure.

Ok. Here we go!!


This year's runaway First Place Stella Award winner was: Mrs. Merv Grazinski, of Oklahoma City, Oklahoma, who purchased new 32-foot Winnebago motor home. On her first trip home, from an OU football game, having driven on to the freeway, she set the cruise control at 70 mph and calmly left the driver's seat to go to the back of the Winnebago to make herself a sandwich. Not surprisingly, the motor home left the freeway, crashed and overturned. Also not surprisingly, Mrs Grazinski sued Winnebago for not putting in the owner's manual that she couldn't actually leave the driver's seat while the cruise control was set. The Oklahoma jury awarded her, are you sitting down?

$1,750,000 PLUS a new motor home. Winnebago actually changed their manuals as a result of this suit, just in case Mrs. Grazinski has any relatives who might also buy a motor home.


Miley said...

I will never understand our court system. People complain about this kind of bullshit but keep putting idiots on the bench.

I would ask the question "Are these real?" but it's so damn plausible in our country these days that it doesn't really matter.

dopdavid said...

i would believe it, thats why you have to watch where you breathe around here in fear of getting sued for breathing someone else's air

Becky said...

Is it any wonder unemployment is so high? I mean if you can get paid this kind of dough to being stupid, and there is no limit to the number of lawsuits you can file, why work?

RedRaven said...

We live in the only country where you can sue anyone for anything. I'm sure one could sue someone for trauma and mental anguish for farting in the same room as oneself. It's sad.

Anonymous said...

Knowing the frivolous lawsuit nature of our country this almost had me going, but I decided to check.

They're all false with the last one a very popular urban legend. Thank goodness they aren't true - it gives us a wee bit of hope for our nation.

They are a fun read tho'.

MynameisEarl said...

Lol, try looking at some stories in the UK.

One time a single mother's home was being invaded by two burglars, she fought one off and beat the other to a pulp. The guy screamed assault while the mother claimed self-defence. In terms of political correctness.

The guy won the case and was only giver community service and hospital cover, the mother on the other hand was given a hefty fine (I forgot the price) for assault.

Am I missing something here...?