I ain't your Average Bear Boo Boo

I love Yogi and Boo Boo, I just want to pick up a pic a nic basket now.  Filled with yummy stuff like potato salad, and ham and a pie.  I love food, either I am a pig or a Bear, I guess that depends on the time of day and if you piss me off or not.

My kids seriously pissed me off all the time,  but usually not on the same day. Because no one needs me to lose what little is left of my mind.

So you can imagine how the shit rained down  on their collective parade  when they BOTH got in trouble at school on the same day.

After the school meetings and such I set forth to make them hate me. To realize that psychological warfare was not invented by the Government, but instead in the real trenches, where your momma does indeed wear combat boots.

For dinner they got liver, cauliflower, whole wheat bread and tonic water.  Now I realize some of you may be going OMG YUM!  To you I say WTH  are you serious that shit is totally nasty. It's like organs with a side dish of coagulated zit.  Lucky for me. My kids feel the same way. Which made it AWESOME.

not Yum just uhm and eww.

But I wasn't going to eat that crap, I didn't get in trouble at work that day, which is part of the reason I ordered pizza to be followed by an ice cream sundae social  and Soft Drinks for me and their Dad.  Why?  Isn't it clear folks. I am an evil witch.

We ate it all  making yum yum moaning noises in front of the kids who sat there crying and pissed with their ubber disgusting meal.  

Pouting, attitude, tears, and finally one of them screamed, " I am going to turn you in, this is child abuse".

That was the pivotal moment that brought them a new speech and a new understanding.

I began with, "  really?  the law says I have to feed you,  the meal in front of you is not only food, but very nutritious, I find it hard for this to be child abuse in the eyes of the law."

The blank stares back from my children alerted me that I had their full attention.

So I then explained they owned nothing,  not the shoes, the clothes, the books, the toys or even their bedrooms.  Those were all mine, but I was generous enough to let them "use" my things.

I also reminded them the law only says you have to be clothed, it does not specify that it has to be name brand totally awesome and in fashion.  That they could indeed go to school in flower print and plaid overalls with hand me down shirts saying things like " I love figure skating"  or "my parents love me".

By this point I had their attention, and my point had gotten through quite nicely.   For the next 13 years I had no debate, no discussion and definitely no more days that they both had a call from the school.

Yep that's how I roll,  also see, " more reasons I wont ever get mother of the year" 

Go out and enjoy your weekend, be safe and laugh often.

xoxo

PEACH OUT