Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Amazon Societies

I have always had a fascination with the law, how it has evolved and especially loved the old laws that somehow remain on the books.  We all have them, most of them no one has heard of.  Last night I decided to check some old laws on the books in my state.  

Fasten your seat belts grab your latte and hold on folks, I am using scientific theory as related to law to prove my theory  our founding fathers and lawmakers  were really women.

97-35-17-Private citizens may personally arrest any person that disturbs a church service.
Wow.  All babies would go directly to jail.  But they would get out eventually.

97-29-59.  It is illegal for a male to be sexually aroused in public.
Ok so every male 6th grade and above would do jail time according to this one.

97-29-55  A man may not seduce a woman by lying, and claiming he will marry her.
This means every man who finally got out of jail after infancy and then puberty would be thrown back in the cell.

So at this point in society we would clearly have a 1000 to 1 female/male ratio and we all know what would happen.  We would have to share, like in grade school when the teacher asks if you brought enough for the whole class, but this time it would be with the entire subdivision. But wait !

97-29-43 It is illegal to teach others what polygamy is.
SHIT FIRE AND SAVE MATCHES Y'ALL.  there goes a majority of whats left of the men, wait we don't actually have to get married to pro create?  Duh. nice try old timey law makers.

97-29-11  If one is a parent to two illegitimate children, that person will go to jail for at least one month.
OK, well then yep nothing left but us jail house wives and female children

So we will become a society of amazons.  Which would be FREAKING AWESOME.  Cause Wonder Woman was from an Amazon society and she had an invisible jet.  I just want a jet, the invisible part would seem like a hassle and an accident waiting to happen.
Why didn't she make her chair invisible ?  really?  I would so fall out of that.

But what baffles me is all of these laws where written by MEN.  Wow, they are so smart.
 ( or more than likely they were smart women dressed like men to pass these laws.)



Midwestern Mama Holly said...

SHUT UP!!! OMG Sybil...... I was going to do a weird laws post for today but scrubbed it for the crapfest I posted instead. This is some weird separated at birth shit.
(looking for landshark to pop up)

ThePeachy1 said...

@Holly- ok your so called crapfest, made me snort a danish out. liquids are fine I am used to that with you, but honestly? solid foods. and yeah, KNOCK KNOCK.... LANDSHARK

Miley (woman:confused) said...

See, you live in the GOOD state, where men are punished for their stupidity. In my home state, it's COMPLETELY LEGAL for a man to beat his wife with a stick, as long as it's not any thicker than a broomstick.

ThePeachy1 said...

that might still be on the books here too but I tried not to look at anything that would make me march on my capital using my bra as a sling shot..
I am too lazy and my without a bra would probably trip over my boobs.