Monday, September 27, 2010

Don't try to assimilate me

Resistance is NOT futile.

I do not give a flying fuck that you have the most check in's at yogart barn.

That your cat barfed on your rug

That you ran 3.5k of the 5k and feel great.

That you have candles for sale.

That you want everyone with a son/daughter/mother/father/husband/wife/pet hamster to change their status message for one hour.

I don't want to buy your kids candles/wrapping paper/cookie dough.

I do not want to be part of the asshole collective. Floating mind numbingly like a joy sucking vacuum through space leaving nothing but empty shells of last years name brands, upgraded power cords and maxed out credit card receipts  as a plasma trail.

I will stand still amidst you with my phaser in an alternating pattern so that I may indeed survive without assimilation.


Rachel said...

Well, hell. You just summed up my entire facebook existence. Sans yogurt & candles, that is. I do post random pics of my dog & my knitting though, so I'm pretty sure that makes me one of those annoying FB people.

ThePeachy1 said...

shut up u brilliant witty woman