I aint Betty Crocker here folks

OK so you know  I am not Betty Crocker, June Cleaver or  Martha Freakin Stewart.  At any moment my house  could be condemned, and  my general response to "what's for dinner is",  "depends on where you pick it up dude."

But last week I wrote an original recipe over on BeingPeachy.  So when I got all 9 million  6 hundred and 31 emails from my Dad this weekend I was shocked he had in September sent me a recipe for Christmas Cookies. He's 77 so I am just impressed he is on the internet and forwarding jokes.  Plus he's an early planner so yeah September for Christmas Cookies,  sounds about right.

image from www.partyfail.com

Pretty sure this is what I would look like if I attempted this recipe

Here's the email recipe I got from my Dad.  You guys,  my dad is flat out hilarious.

Jose Cuervo Christmas Cookies

 
                                     
1 cup of water
1 tsp baking soda
1 cup of sugar
1 tsp salt
1 cup or brown sugar
4 large eggs
1 cup nuts
2 cups of dried fruit
1 bottle Jose Cuervo Tequila  

Sample the Cuervo to check quality... Take a large bowl,
check the Cuervo again, to be sure it is of the highest quality,
pour one level cup and drink.

Turn on the electric mixer.. Beat one cup of butter
in a large fluffy bowl.

 

Add one peastoon of sugar. Beat again. At this point
it's best to make sure the Cuervo is still ok, try another
cup just in case.

Turn off the mixerer thingy.

Break 2 leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup
of dried fruit.

Pick the frigging fruit off the floor..

Mix on the turner.

 
If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaters just pry
it loose with a drewscriver.

Sample the Cuervo to check for tonsisticity..

Next, sift two cups of salt, or something. Who geeves
a sheet. Check the Jose Cuervo. Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts.

Add one table.

Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink. Whatever you can
find.

Greash the oven.

Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall
over.

Don't forget to beat off the turner.
Finally, throw the bowl through the window, finish the
Cose Juervo and make sure to put the stove in the wishdasher.
Cherry Mistmas !