Saturday, September 4, 2010

Are you a Bitchasourus Rex

After I published the first edition of My Peachy to English dictionary  I got a couple of emails saying that they felt a little bitchy sometimes but were not sure if they were a full fledge Brontosaurus Bitch.  
Image from 

In the hopes of clearing some things up for everyone I have created this little Q & A because if you have or ever have had a uterus you have indeed been a bitch at some time in your life.  But there's a big difference between being bitchy, justifiable bitchiness, Leader of  the Bitch Pack and then the colossal bitch as mentioned above.  

This is easy just answer yes or no honestly to the questions below.

1. Have you ever clubbed a baby seal?
2. Have you ever sealed a baby cub in a ziplock?
3. Were you stuffed in a locker more than 3 times in your school career and now see the internet as your place to be a drama whore shitard with self designated importance that's more see through than Brittany Spears invisible panties?
4. After being bonded out for curb stomping a stupid bitch did you have your parents co-sign and put their house up for collateral but you took an impromptu trip to Amsterdam and missed court thus causing your elderly parents to live in a cardboard box?
5. Have you ever stabbed a door to door salesmen?
6. Have you ever slapped the eyebrows off a lab tech?
7. Have you ever rolled up your window at a drive through and refused to move up and wait?
8. Have you ever bitten the head off a kitten and then posted a picture of it to your facebook?
9. have you ever taped spray paint cans to your body, torn duct tape around your ankles and a pocket watch in your hand for a meeting at work or school?
10.  Have you ever made a lampshade, coat, scarf, mittens or hat out of an annoying neighbor?

Right now you maybe be thinking to yourself, " Crap, I am a total Bitchasaurus Rex".   But is this because you thought of doing this, wanted to do this or actually did this.  Because only a yes I actually did this already counts as a yes.  Don't make it complicated.

Now count your yes's, and here's your score.
< than 1- Nope your a saint
1-2-  you May be a Super Bitch and sit on the Board of Directors but sometimes you have to straighten out  people.
> than 3-  You have wifi in jail and they let you read my blog?

I hope this clears it up, feel free to post your score in the comments.


Anonymous said...

so just because I want to do several of those I am not a Dinosaur bitch? That's good news because I don't want to be extinct.

Sandra said...

Awww...and all this time I was proudly wearing the label of bitch. Turns out I'm a you can see my halo...