Friday, July 15, 2011

Red -v- Blue

A story about a coyote in California: BLUE
The Governor of California is jogging with his dog along a nature
trail. A coyote jumps out and attacks the Governor's dog, then bites the
Governor. The Governor starts to intervene, but reflects upon the movie
"Bambi" and then realizes he should stop because the coyote is only
doing what is natural. 
He calls animal control Animal Control captures the coyote and bills the
State $200 testing it for diseases and $500 for relocating it. 
He calls a veterinarian. The vet collects the dead dog and bills the
State  $200 testing it for diseases.
The Governor goes to hospital and spends $3,500 getting checked for
diseases  from the coyote and on getting his bite wound bandaged.
The running trail gets shut down for 6 months while Fish & Game
conducts a $100,000 survey to make sure the area is now free of
dangerous animals.
The Governor spends $50,000 in state funds implementing a
"coyote awareness program" for residents of the area.
The State Legislature spends $2 million to study how to better
treat rabies and how to permanently eradicate the disease throughout
the world.
 The Governor's security agent is fired for not stopping the attack. The
State spends $150,000 to hire and train a new agent with additional
special training re: the nature of coyotes.
 PETA protests the coyote's relocation and files a $5 million suit
against the State.

Texas-  RED 
The Governor of Texas is jogging with his dog along a nature
trail. A Coyote jumps out and attacks his dog.
1. The Governor shoots the coyote with his State-issued pistol and
keeps jogging. The Governor has spent $0.50 on a ..45 hollow point
 2. The Buzzards eat the dead coyote.

Hrmmm....  that was easy.

have a great weekend y'all !



Oilfield Trash said...


I am not a fan of Rick Perry, but I did like the fact that he did that. I still laugh about it.

Vinny C said...

I always say, the simplest solutions are the best.

Cheryl said...

Exactly - I'm a Californian and I whole-heartedly approve this blog!

roughneckturtle/Jeff C. said...

I vote RED!

Brett said...

Great point, so very true. Being merciful is definitely more difficult and more costly; and killing is definitely much cheaper and much more convenient. Jesus had pointed that exact same thing out. Texas clearly loves Jesus.
One road leads to Texas and the other to California, people live in both places so all is right with the world. Is one trying to get rid of the other? That would be bad.

Also, the blue Governor seemed to have stimulated a lot of job necessity and revenue-circulation over multiple sectors of community-level workforces by his actions; where the red Governor only stimulated a gun corporation. No?

ThePittsofBeingPeachy said...

Brett, thanks for stopping by, so sorry to hear about your surgery? Apparently they removed the funny bone but left the stick in your ass. It's a freaking joke my dad emailed me. I could give a shit about CA politics. Hope you heal up nicely.