Churches and Squirrels

There were four country churches in a small Texas town;


The Baptist Church ,
The Methodist Church ,
The Catholic Church,
& The Jewish Synagogue.

Each church & Synagogue was overrun with pesky squirrels.

In The Baptist Church the squirrels had taken up habitation in the baptistery. The deacons met and decided

to put a cover on the baptistery and drown the squirrels in it. The squirrels escaped somehow and there were

twice as many there the next week.

The Methodist Church got together and decided that they were not in a position to harm any of God's creation.

So, they humanely trapped the Squirrels and set them free a few miles outside of town. Three days later, the

squirrels were back.

But - The Catholic Church came up with the best and most effective solution.They baptized the squirrels and

 registered them as members of the church. Now they only see them on Christmas & Easter.

Not much was heard about the Jewish Synagogue, but they took one squirrel and had a short service with him

called circumcision and they haven't seen a squirrel on the property since.

xo

PEACH OUT

Red -v- Blue

A story about a coyote in California: BLUE

The Governor of California is jogging with his dog along a nature

trail. A coyote jumps out and attacks the Governor's dog, then bites the

Governor. The Governor starts to intervene, but reflects upon the movie

"Bambi" and then realizes he should stop because the coyote is only

doing what is natural. 

He calls animal control Animal Control captures the coyote and bills the

State $200 testing it for diseases and $500 for relocating it. 

He calls a veterinarian. The vet collects the dead dog and bills the

State  $200 testing it for diseases.

The Governor goes to hospital and spends $3,500 getting checked for

diseases  from the coyote and on getting his bite wound bandaged.

The running trail gets shut down for 6 months while Fish & Game

conducts a $100,000 survey to make sure the area is now free of

dangerous animals.

The Governor spends $50,000 in state funds implementing a

"coyote awareness program" for residents of the area.

The State Legislature spends $2 million to study how to better

treat rabies and how to permanently eradicate the disease throughout

the world.

 The Governor's security agent is fired for not stopping the attack. The

State spends $150,000 to hire and train a new agent with additional

special training re: the nature of coyotes.

 PETA protests the coyote's relocation and files a $5 million suit

against the State.

Texas-  RED 

The Governor of Texas is jogging with his dog along a nature

trail. A Coyote jumps out and attacks his dog.

1. The Governor shoots the coyote with his State-issued pistol and

keeps jogging. The Governor has spent $0.50 on a ..45 hollow point

cartridge.

 2. The Buzzards eat the dead coyote.

Hrmmm....  that was easy.

have a great weekend y'all !

xo

PEACH OUT