When you can use the F word.

In real life it has been said I may have a bit of a potty mouth.   So I thought who better to give you examples of when it is ok to say things like -  " THE F WORD "

Yes the above photos show you a simple guideline of when it is most definitely acceptable for anyone to use the F word in combination with a string of foul language and even after the fact like when speaking to the insurance adjuster.

But below-  below are examples of when you are definitely allowed to scream it at the top of your lungs!

Now, since I am effin sick, I will be in my effin bed with effin kleenex hoping some effin wonderful person will make me some effin matzo soup and make me effin better.

f this.

PEACH OUT

A year in the shitter !

July 2009 my husband bought me a new phone. I was excited, even though it wasn't the coolest, smartest, easiest every to use phone it was new to me and he had researched the best signal receiving cell phone for our hell pit house which is infamous for the ability to block any signal as if were a nun at co ed dance night.

Anyway in December of last year my lap top was inadvertent broken by a friend going through an immense tragedy.  So my laptop isn't a laptop anymore and I have a monitor on my end table hooked too it, since compaq  wont replace a broken screen.  Same trip,  a heinous non human waste of flesh hag medical professional  managed to step on my phone and break it.  So for a year I have had my laptop hooked to a monitor and my cell phone held together by scotch tape.  Yeah I know I am so classy you wish you were me.

However with money as it is and priorities as they are, I have hobbled along in broken technology land doing the best I can with what I have.

Then Thursday night the Droid takes me to radio shack and forks out the dough ray  me to purchase me a new phone for Christmas.   It's an AT&T LG that's all I know.  It' also my very first qwerty keyboard having cell phone, it's also my first tough screen.

It is FREAKING AWESOME.  if you are within tongue licking distance to a cell tower.  IN addition I just had to move my sim card over to supposedly transfer the address book that for 18 months I have been saving to the sim card.

Not so much, in fact not at all.  So I have to try to add each of you as you send in your info.
This means when you TXT me saying OMG, what is up with so and so did you see their wall. I will write back, wtf is this and what are you talking about.  I will continue to embrace my delusion that every one who calls or texts and isn't in my book is Brendan Frasier.   You can be like rehab and send the right info. I know not everyone will, like my sweetheart Brendon,  but that's very sexy  top secret relationship and we are tying to keep it on the down low.


Ok people that's all for today I have to go because I think if I stand on my roof on a metal folding lawn chair  while wearing an aluminum hat and  stainless steal panties I may get lucky and catch a random signal.


xo
PEACH OUT

Dumped but with kindness

I have noticed over the past few months that I am quite the bitch maybe not as nice to people in public as I should be.  So until I can get my social butterfly wings back I  am not allowed to leave the house limit my public appearances.

This is an issue.  Due to where I live ( 5thousand and 2 miles from any civilization).  There is no food delivery, or grocery delivery or people. Hell we are lucky to have sunlight piped in and on random occasion phone service.

So I jump on the web yesterday and did some Christmas shopping.  In 3 stores/websites I had knocked out nearly all of my shopping  and for a lot less than I would have spent on the bail money had I gone out in public and had to jack somebody up.

I got clearance deals and free shipping and cyber week sales and woot I never even had to get dressed or comb my hair.  This is what I am talking about.   

All my confirmation emails came in I did it early enough to not worry about shipping times.  I was so proud of myself for doing that all that and bargain shopping to stay in budget was worth it.

Then as my Grandmother used to say, " pride cometh before the fall "

I woke up this morning ( far too early)  and in my email was what can only be construed as a Dear John letter to me.

This totally wreaks of a break up letter where they say, " oh it's not you " and that stirs up bad repressed feelings that make me even more stabby.

There's nothing in the letter saying that they are giving me my money back. I don't want a personal shopper I am quite capable of looking for cheap stuff on my own.  

I should also mention that this order was the one where I bought all of you a present, and now they aren't filling it so boo your Christmas is ruined too.  

I need chocolate.  NOW !

XO

PEACH OUT