You need to realize I have this INSANE freaking phobia about public restrooms.
Which is just ONE of the 3 million and three reasons I should not have been allowed to have children. Those little screaming heckling crotch fruits ( Holly's word) will have to go in EVERY SINGLE ONE you ever pass or come within 25 miles of and the dirtier the better.
So Friday I had to do fasting blood work for Dr Kavorkian. When I finally finished I ordered a double protein strawberry mango banana smoothie which is apparently smoothie talk for laxative. ( TMI? shut up there's a reason).
I have to of course face my fears and go into a public restroom on the military base who apparently can march in order and shoot a non existent WMD from 500 miles but CAN NOT hit a toilet.
So after I did the Lysol, germ ex, bleach, rubber gloves haz-mat suit pre-qualification requirements for me to go in there ( all of which I took from their store shelves) I hovered like a military chanook and then I noticed it.
Pants around my knees wearing yellow rubber dish gloves, breathing in a paper bag, and trying to go to my mental happy place, I thought of you. ( touched right?)
I saw the item below, neatly, cleanly, and more important, sterile, hanging on the wall.
In one gianormous swoop of genius it all became clear !
If they had these in stores and malls and restaurants people could strap in their precious snowflake ( DNA muddle puddle spuddle, ) in a sound proof booth and go on about their business without subjecting me to their freaking loud brats adorable children, or their eddie bower Humvee strollers, or more importantly their nearly always infectious bundles of joy that are drooling, coughing, sneezing and shitting with every breath.
It looks like a hard plastic and therefore hose-able jump seat. which leads me to believe they could be welded to the OUTSIDE of all commercial flights?
and somehow this all made me think of you, you're welcome.
xo
PEACH OUT
* I dedicate this post to the person who hates blogs that aren't funny, post about poop, and posts about children, she totally knows who she is. That's all I got to say about that.
