To the 500 cars that passed me up. To the 35 rude women honking. To the useless cell phone coverage I have. To the Ted Bundy that stopped and
XO
PEACH OUT
Keep your arms & legs inside the vehicle at all times. The safety bar will lift when the ride comes to a complete stop.
Friday, February 11, 2011
Where the hell is Cee Lo when you need him.
Here are the last 6 hours of my life via interpretive dance.
To the 500 cars that passed me up. To the 35 rude women honking. To the useless cell phone coverage I have. To the Ted Bundy that stopped andoffered to kill me asked for my number and told me I was cute. To the guy who stole my gas can in the end. I dedicate this song to you.
XO
PEACH OUT
To the 500 cars that passed me up. To the 35 rude women honking. To the useless cell phone coverage I have. To the Ted Bundy that stopped and
XO
PEACH OUT
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14 comments:
LOL!!!! People are fucking whacked, especially behind the wheel.
damn...that's no good. I totally would have driven slowly by you and checked you out to see if you were supporting Pants Optional Friday....then I would have helped.
It does not shock me how many idiots become dumbasses behind the wheel. It is like as soon as they get into a car their head goes up their ass.
AAAAAAG nooooooo. All that and your gas can got stolen?!?
On the up-side, awesome hilarious post. I'm sorry to admit I'm laughing at your misfortune. Yeah, out LOUD.
Love you Peach!!
But... but... the story doesn't say how ya was rescued! Are you still stranded? If so I call ribs on your home entertainment system. Heck what are friends for?
Someone stole your fuel can?!?!? They are a pain in the gas!
Fuckin stoopid.spellchecker! Why would I call ribs on something? Dibs. I call dibs... Sheesh!
You brought humor to an obviously stressful situation.
Cheers to you.
Velva
@Holly and Justin- yeah in this State IQ's are already below the baseline, then they get behind a wheel and it drops to the -'s
@WhyisDaddy Crying- I am on day 42 of the 2011 pajama challenge, so to add insult to injury yes I was in my pajamas, not quite pants optional but close enough for humiliation factor to be at RED.
@JC- if I can laugh at burning my house down I guess I can also laugh at being in my pj's with my neurotic dog along side the road for hours. Enjoy, this post took 10 minutes. LOL
@Nikki- Your zombie is showing, you knew I was stranded and wanted to eat my ribs, hell I was looking for food in the car and the dog started looking like a bbq
sandwich.
@FlyDDW- ha. pain in the gas, funny.
@Velva- if you can't laugh at your life, then your destined to be miserable.
So sorry you had a crap day.
On the plus side, it gave you an excuse to watch one of the BEST. VIDEOS. EVER.
Hope your weekend makes up for today.
xo
Aw, Peach! I'd jet right down there and help whoop some ass on those numbnuts (but my G6 is in the shop). SO, instead, for now, a virtual bird to all the fucknuggets that didn't help a cobra sister out!
I hope your weekend turns out better!
XO,
Cobra Sister Reckmonster
OMG, I am so sorry you had a crappy day! I cannot believe the one dude who stopped actually hit on you. Well, not that you're not hit-able, but you were obviously a damsel in distress, and he could have at least loaned you his cell phone BEFORE he hit on you. I'm just sayin'.
And what kind of MORON would steal your gas can?!
I think you need to drink heavily. I'll join you. Then you should take a hot bath. I won't join you for that. (creepy)
Hey, tomorrow can ONLY be BETTER, right?
WV: suppir
Don't call me late for suppir.
When I was about twelve my dad took me with him to buy a keg of beer in Oak Ridge (I learned so much from those educational moments together...) on the way home our car died at a light. The guy behind us laid on his horn, then did it again. Dad was trying to start the car, but it was just cranking, not firing. The third time "horny" honked, my dad got out of the car and walked back to his, and said (loud enough that I heard it in OUR car...)
"Tell you what... you go up there and start my car, and I'll sit back here and blow your fucking horn."
By the time he got back to the driver's seat the asshole had gone around us with a one finger salute.
Car started right up... just needed a piss off moment to get it together.
OMG. I so get it. I really, truly do. WTF was up with the guy stealing your gas can, though???
I have a gas can. I keep it in the garage because I'm scared residual fumes will explode in the car. Makes sense, right?
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