Another Brick on the Wall

Hey guess what my kid just got a 4 year full ride sport scholarship to a major U.

Guess what everyone of you were silently either high fiving me or you virtual hate meter was on the rise.  Why?

Hey guess what my daughter is graduating in May with her second college degree, is on the Deans list a class load so heavy she has to get department approval and works 40 hours a week on top of it to put herself through school while paying her college to minimize the life time she will be forever in debt with what is known as student loan hell.

Which do I get know the five or the finger?  Ok

Hey guess what, my 9 year old d4th grader just "voluntarily" participated in a Science fair for his school since it's not required here until " higher grades"  He walked away with more ribbons than a prize heifer at the state fair.  He goes as the overall winner to Regionals.  We have  to pay registration, travel, provide our own table, and he will set 9 hours on the floor next to his project.  Oh wait did I mention we have already been told he can't go any further than Regionals because he's too young?

Five or finger? Almost there?

Today is 4th grade state exams, you know the ones required by the laws that govern our education.  It is so important that an automated phone message went out to all parents.  It said something like: make sure your child goes to bed early, gets good sleep,  eats breakfast at home.  All children will need to be to school early, and all children will be taken to the cafeteria for breakfast before class.  So even if your child eats at home you may want to send "extra" money for them to eat.  "Unless they already receive free or reduced meals"


where we at here?  1 more?

Last night my 9 year old fourth grade had his 3rd baseball practice, which is kid pitch minor leagues here.  His first practice was 1 hour, his second practice was at nearly 3,  and tonight for his third practice we skirmished a neighboring rival town but did not keep score,  we got there at 5pm, the game started at 630pm. By the time we got home crammed what would be considered a dinner in some 3rd world countries hosed him off and got uniforms and lunches packed made him cool down and rubbed his legs and arms with icy hot,  it is considerably later than his usual bedtime.  95% of both teams have these tests tomorrow and both coaches have kids on the teams and knew about the tests.

Ok so where am I sitting on your finger scale? am I getting 5 up high or a single soldier telling me to shut up.


Here's the deal folks 1 of those scenarios was complete and utter bullshit.

Since I live in the United States, and then deep south I will totally let you guess which ones are the sad educational truth here.

We don't raise rocket scientist here people, we raise HERO's.  You know like Brett "ThePhone" Farve?  Yeah we get to claim him.  Shut up I know we are lucky right?   Lucky like a $5.00 hooker on penny night at the local dive.

Why?

Ask Floyd baby,  " we don't need no education"  ( as long as you can play sports)


XO


PEACH OUT

Now in return for your reading the post from a competitive softball player and cheerleader turned coach, who drank her way through college and married a guy with the athletic DNA of Steve Urkle I give you a little pleasure.

Common Science Day

Yes you can indeed get an education via fun via blogs. Not all blogs unless you want a recipe or a handmade human hair doll or stickers or something,  so other than groups with a purpose you only have humor bloggers to help "educate" you.  Sorry, I guess humor bloggers are like public school of education, free and you have to pay attention and pray you get the teacher/blogger on xanax so she won't overload your brain at ramped crack speed.

Here's all the science you need to know today. I will never try to make you over think.

a- an object in motion tends to stay in motion-  this means if you throw your cell phone out the car window it will indeed keep going.
b- fire is hot best not to play with fire sober or drunk
c- a man who hits on you via email should do things  like type in English or get humiliated
d- back up your stuff on a zip drive, label the zip drive so the funny naked sexy drunk zip drive doesn't pop up during a business meeting.
e-Justin Beiber is really Justank Beaver and in turn Donny Osmands kid and I proved it here
F-and  Everything that goes down does come up ---  See a picture of mom in her early 20's ,  see picture of mom in her 40's real simple people
G Never spit into a fan- ALSO RELATED -  do not barf into the wind.
H- if someones hand is in a appliance don't turn it on.
I- if Judge Judy and Gordon Ramsey had a child they would need an old priest a young priest and a bath tub of  Holy Olive Oil to get that bugger an exorcism.
J- If you're in a situation when more speed is needed getting to your bathroom because it's urgent- You will be will be blocked by a pet, followed by a child, step on a lego and the one moist part on the floor will knock the wind our your sails just as you slam your spine on it.

So that's all the common sense science for today...


Have a great smart and newly scientific kind of day.


xo
PEACH OUT

Why I need an Island

I used to work 40-50 hours a week at a high stress, suit type job.
I used to drag my kids to every event/function/practice/exhibition/cultural experience.
I used to take off in the car with no planned route calling it an adventure and singing in the car.
I used to go out a lot and could often be seen with a microphone in my hand for one reason or another.
I was like Norm at Cheers. When I would walk in a place people would yell my name and get up to hug me.
I was once even elected to a small position that I took very serious and enjoyed.

Not anymore.  I started on a mission to be comfortable and have dedicated my life to Pajamas and this darling laptop of mine. At some point I went from being a social butterfly to a very anti social often pissed off troll.

It's like my adoration of the human race has been sucked out of me and I need to be sent off to an island to live alone.  But what's weird is there are some people I really like, I would do anything for them and I would want them on my island because I love them like a cat loves catnip. They seem to get me. Even if our opinions differ we still support and laugh at and with each other.  So obviously I need an island.


Now if I have to answer my doorbell or phone I cringe.  If I have to actually get dressed and leave my house I feel like I should bring a paper bag for a probable hyperventilation event or a baseball bat and a criminal defense lawyer.

I wonder if  the burly hillbilly at the door trying to sell meat off the back of his truck is thinking how many pounds of rump roast he could get by cutting up my body out here in the woods, where no one can see or hear my murder.

I wonder if the person on the phone wanting me to do a phone survey knows that I have more than likely had a conversation with someone about zombies, jedi's, ninjas, scary clowns, or speedos in the last 30 minutes and should probably not have an opinion that is valued.

I am not sure if this event is happening everywhere or just in my state.

It appears the human race is getting more stupid, irresponsible and all around incompetent.   

Or more logically,  I am turning into a seriously heinous bitch.

Since I was forced out of my Pajama vacation/lifestyle several times in the last few days, I noticed how acute this situation is.  The following things happened in the past 3 days, and there is one common denominator me. So clearly mathematics would teach us I am the cause.

Example 1-  I don't have a Dr, I have a Physicians Assistant, but he got promoted to over seas all the PA's so he passed me and my medical issues down to a Assistant to the Physician Assistant which I will call an APA, who told me to come and see him for a follow up but when I went in, I saw a Nurse.  I am thinking the worse my case gets the less qualified my medical provider will be.  I expect next time I go in I will see the receptionist and the visit after that the janitor, then probably a 1st grader.  This pisses me off.  I pay for my insurance.

Example 2- The Nurse managed to mess up all of my Rx's because she didn't understand what they were for or what my dx was.  So I spent 2 hours on the phone to leave a phone consult to get an appointment that is two weeks from now to follow up on the follow up where my meds were messed up. Excellent.

Example 3- The Stupid Bitch known as the Young Tech at the lab who though I was a pin cushion while she acted like a 15 year old in the High School Parking lot.  I even wrote a post about her( click here).  And how I wanted to slap the eyebrows off her face.

Example 4-  Big Chain Store Tire Guy- I have a flat, I am driving on the spare I pull in with the flat tire with road hazard warranty on it in the back. He see's me pull up and wait at the sign that says wait. He sits down and eats, a small child, a danish. Wipes his pudgy hands on his greasy shirt and then goes inside the store for a while. He comes back out with his hand held bar code thingy and saunters up to me like I am intruding on his non work schedule. I explain I have the warranty and a flat and he explains it's against the law to fix the tire since it's a 2006, even though the receipt I show him states I bought it in 2009.  He said yeah you have to watch that.  Watch WHAT? YOU? you sell me 3 year old tires and a warranty on them that you don't have to back up because the tire you sold me was old and you say, " I should watch that?"  oh ok, I see the error of my ways in assuming you  weren't a cheating scum bag.

Example 4b- Big Chain Store Tire Guy-  OH yeah dude last time I was here I had you replace that right front tire here's the receipt, on the way home my hubcap flew off and I turned around and crawled through a snake infested ditch to get it back can you put it back on?    NO?  It's broke?  Somebody broke it putting it on?  OH,  so I am screwed?  Ok cool. Thanks.

Example 5-  Politics.  You can't win.  If you disagree with either or both sides on even 1 point you are screamed at by either or both sides for being an idiot.  Apparently at some point we stopped being a country where we could respect each others view points and still disagree and turned into a country of OMG your are so stupid and I am so smart cause I read it on the internet.    If you have the balls to write a serious article about politics, have the brains to actually research the material.  Both sides, all views, the good the bad the ugly, and then using your own voice put out the article instead of regurgitating more useless drivel that serves only the people who are actually making money from this entire High School like popularity contest. The Politicians.


Example 6- Several phone calls from someone in my past to complain that their hand is just totally on fire and OMG they even had a chest x-ray and they are going to see a neurologist and their life is over and could I help them out because OMG the world is ending.  First of all. I have known you my entire life, you're a certified idiot.  If your hand is on fire take it off the stove burner where you have probably left it so you could scream how horrible your life is.  The life that you never worked a day in your life for but instead has been handed to you through tax dollars and the pity of the many many charities you scam.  Do me a favor. Lose my number.


Example 7- An elementary school teacher.  Who in just 4 weeks of school, has done all of the following.
Failed to give my kid his asthma medicine after I jumped through flaming hula hoops to get all the school forms and rx bottles properly completed by an actual Doctor before school started.
Had a ridiculous list of supplies for me to purchase and has not used even one of them for my kid yet.
Had  a face to face meeting with  me and my husband on day 4 of school because they are using some -/. code for all assignments and simply write a number on an erase board  ie:  9.4/7-e   and admitted the system may be confusing to 9 year olds.
Made my kid walk laps in 100 degree weather right after we had the meeting to discuss the folder with the ./- system because even though that was what the  meeting was about I didn't initial it.  OH yeah and no he didn't get his asthma medicine first.
Instead of answering any of my written notes to her, just circled words in my notes in red pen so that I could try to put them in an order that may be an answer.
Sends home all classwork and school work for the entire week on every Monday because it takes up too much class time to hand out these photo copied worksheets every day.  But the kids can only do that day's work on that day.
If you chose the job to be a teacher. Here is a really out of the box kind of idea, how about TEACHING !  Don't hand a kid over 60 photo copied worksheets for a week and test 5 days a week. Put them on auto function mode and use the code words , " students responsibility" for " I am too lazy to do my job"  If you are too busy working on your degree to actually teach or you figured out you hate the job, quit.  There are plenty of qualified dedicated people who would love your job.


Example 8-  The bank.  They have initiated a policy that if you do not use your atm/debit card within 14 days it is suspended and you have to psychically go into a branch and have it reactivated.  This is Bullshit.  I live in podunkville yall.  I am also on a pajama vacation and I might go 3 or 16 days without every opening my front door ( unless that meat guy comes by).  Plus this isn't my main account so I don't use it that much.  I can't think of a better way to get me to close all 3 of my accounts with you.


Example 9-  A phone call from someone that although I love them dearly. I wouldn't trust them with a spork  and playdough, as they have proven they are capable of EPIC bad choices,  and lack the comprehension of responsibility in a way that exceeds anything previously known on the planet.  This person moves town to town state to state. In college we called it, "couch surfing".  But I am not sure there is always a couch involved.  Yet this person thought it would be a FANTASTIC idea to call me from a borrowed cell phone from an Animal Shelter in another state and ask me to "co-sign" for them to get a dog.  UHM WHAT?  My dogs and cats are always rescue or shelter animals.  But really how could I vouch for this person to be responsible for a helpless unconditionally loving animal to be placed in their care or lack there of.  I couldn't.  So the call ended with me being cussed out for saying I didn't think it was a good idea until they were more stable.


So that's an average of 3 people a day for the last 3 days that have made me absolutely lose my cool. Even if just within my own mind.   This is not good, this is not normal, this is not ok.  I am the happy go lucky, "make it work" go to girl.    Now I am just a growling snarling festering troll.   I looked at the calendar and I can't even use PMS as an excuse.

Is there a medicine that makes you less angry/stabby/annoyed/mean/hateful/hyperventalty ?  If so, what is it and what do I need to say to the janitor to get the RX for it.

I have to go out again today I hope I am able to avoid any more "situations" that make me question this theory.