Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Prince William you are screwing up dude

Ok so by know you know unless you live in a cave under a rock with Bose sound proof headphones that Prince William has announced his Royal Engagement to Kate.

Yes she is fashionable and pretty and smart, and all royalty royalty princess like, and whatever BLECH.

Ok here's the dealy princey pooh...  You are marrying a chick you have already been with for 8 years.  You are marrying a chick that is older than you and is nearly 30.  You are marrying a chick who is already rich.


Do you have any clue what you are missing out on?  I don't think you do because your too busy playing marco polo  and eating crumpets and hanging out with dudes with big ugly black hats to see the forest for the trees.

You need an American Chick.
A good cook
Someone who can knock the snot out of the paparazzi
Someone strong enough to tell you your Dad is a twit and your Step Mom is a home wrecking whore bag.
Someone you haven't already been getting the milk from for free for years.
Also having cool in laws would probably be good.

OH there are thousands of perfect fits for you darling but you really need someone who can hold down those floppy ears and put your snintty little ass in it's place no matter who the hell you think you are.

I would suggest someone who is very worldly, willing to travel, confident, possibly college educated,  can cook really good, artistic, musical,  GREAT with kids, not intimidated by status.

OMG Willy baby, I just figured out your perfect girl !!!

From her birth she was raised as a princess, but not the fluffy type all though she can totally pull that off too.
Highly educated, Politically aware, well traveled and does not cross her legs at the knee ( Princess Diaries lesson)
and as you can see she is always ready to deal with the photogs.

I am sure you will see the error of your ways and be contacting me soon my future son in law.  Treat her right dude because we are Americans and I will dot your friggin royal eye if you break her heart.  Also you can call me MOM not MUM, a MUM is a flower.

I will be expecting the Grandchildren for the summer. They will jump on a trampoline, swim in a river and make mud pies, don't argue, I am the MIL.



Unknown said...

I would give a kidney to see this happen for you!! I SOOO want to see you and the royals mixing it up

Oilfield Trash said...

This would make for interesting Thanksgiving dinner.

Miley said...

As much as I totally see your point of view, I'm pretty sure your daughter would run like hell from the likes of Prince William because he's a bit too "stuffy". Plus, she has a brain. And that whole psychology thing. I can see her doing a real shrinking of the royal family, ya know?

Laugh. It's Life in Progress said...

This is a great idea! Can I come for the holiday dinners???? I would love to watch this play out :o). Great post Peach!

Dazee Dreamer said...

Thank you so much for the laugh. I needed it.

ThePeachy1 said...

If you think about it, Southerners are like the Royals of America. We eat, we love our castles (code for trailers) and in the past inbreeding was practiced diligently. In addition we have our our dialect and appreciate sports ( see nascar and football)

ThePeachy1 said...

I realized all my darling UK friends would get a HUGE kick out of that. As a side bonus I already know how to drink gin, it's Tea I have an issue with, but if he can eat my cooking at my house I will choke down his at his place when I visit.