Wednesday, January 26, 2011

How Kevin ruined Bacon- the time I didn't get arrested

I've lived a thousand lives, 
and was nearly arrested in all but 2. 
Those are the ones they caught me.

During High School I lived in a tiny town in central Florida that had 1 catwalk ( the thing for pedestrians to cross the street over traffic- not the cool high fashion catwalk).

In retrospect  this catwalk being within 1 block of my high school where everyone knew me might not have been the best place to skip for the first time.

Maybe if I were just sitting  there quietly and not drawing attention to myself I would have been ok.  But no I had to be all "footloose, kick off my Sunday shoes".

Yes that's right. I skipped school the very first time after watching the movie "Footloose with Kevin Bacon".

It's not that the movie was that so amazingly awesome, and I am not a big Kevin Bacon fan. ( However I friggin LOVE real  bacon, or as my kid calls it, "pig meat".) Nothing against you Kevin, I am sure you're reading this and  I do NOT want to hurt your feelings. I just never really connected to much of the stuff you did, including your music. I am sure your fantastic and all that it's just my personal thing ok,  at the time I was busy being all hot over John Bon Jovi.  ( shout out Johnny babe, remember me from that concert, sure you do!)

But Kev, ( I can call you Kev right?)  your movie did inspire me. To skip school, put your soundtrack in my walkman ( google ancient technology), and then attempt to do your movie  moves across my towns catwalk. ( which could have only hurt my street cred, because people called my mom and the school thinking I was suffering from a medical condition)

Is this my fault? No, it's yours.  You did this, this was the marked beginning of  my awesome crazy wild memories downfall as a teenager.

Well that and the entire living so close to Dayton Beach that I thought spring break was the entire year round and would eventually end  up on MTV spring break 4 years in a row and who the heck knew my mom would be watching that crap? ( shout out to Mom in case she figured out browsers from email and finds this..)

On the upside, it was pretty much the point I also realized you only go around 1 time ?  Smell the roses? Enjoy your life?  So I have to thank you for that, which is probably the soul reason I secretly bought  your CD , "Forosoco" ( still available at amazon) . See that Kev I pimped your CD because 
you taught me to skip school and dance like a moron in the middle of my town,
 you were part of my coming of age.  Much like "Breakfast Club". "Ferris Buellers Day off",  "Sixteen Candles",  "Weird Science", "Pretty in Pink" and "Risky Business" .

Except in each of those movies there was a guy I was willing to make out with.
(*Note* if you have not watched every single one of these movies at least 2 times each, you fail and better head on over to netflix and get you some life).
 (*Disclaimer* I am not saying I would not make out with you under any circumstances. As a married woman I have found there are many things I can overlook and honestly  I am not seeing that many flaws with you compared to some others. )

I wish I could make my daughter in college sit down and watch all the above movies, including yours, except I don't want her to skip school, lend her panties to a nerd,  turn a barbie and porno into a human,  steal a car, hire a hooker, and make out with a dude while she wears a flammable bridesmaid dress as she leans over candles, and wreck her parents car.  I ended up doing all of those, well except for the barbie thing,  that was a bogus script and shit theory, it totally did not work with the GI Joe I stole from my brothers.

But  each of these movies taught me something, they  marked a certain stage in my life, and I am sure in some way the have helped me enjoy the ride.

So Kev, honey, I blame you for the beginning of  my awesomeness, before that I was just another chick in a school showing up and learning.

Kevin bacon and John Bon Jovi
Why did I think dancing like this was acceptable in public?

Let's be clear that I blame nothing on Brendan Fraser because he is my main man, and entered my life way after I was all formative and junk.  But he lurves me, visits me while my husband is at work, is the father to 1 of my children,  is the main focus of a lot of my adult dreams,
 has done some great work.



PS- any stars I failed to give a shout out to that I totally owe a shout out to, I will get to you in time, whether you like it or not.  ( That's a heads up to you Van Halen { pre Hagar}, Ralph Macchio { you're my bud but you already know that}, Ratt { because that was the first music video I was in}, Judd Nelson { because I gave my earing to a dirtbag}, Curtis Armstrong, Steve Perry, Rod Stewart, Sting, Alan Ruck  and many many more... )

PSS- this post was not sponsored by Kevin Bacon,  The Anti Bacon Defamation League or Netflix, which means they all owe me BIG TIME.


Oilfield Trash said...

Wow I am pretty sure that I noticed that you actually said you bought Kevin Bacon's CD. So that makes you and his mom responsible for the 2 copies of it sold.

BlahCooCooBlah said...

Anything to do with bacon ruins lives I tell ya! Whether it's Kevin or the tastey meat itself!

Unknown said...

Back in the day Bon Jovi had one of THE BEST backstage set ups ever... so Ive been told ;) Also Ferris Buellers Day Off. To this day I KNOW that movie is based on mine and Pam's school skipping antics. Only the names/gender was changed.

squatlo said...

From an older man's point of reference, this post has me feeling more than a little over the damn hill. In fact, so over the hill that it's completely out of sight in my rearview mirror.

All of my movie influences were torrid infatuations with older women when I was a kid... Katherine Ross in Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, Ali McGraw in Love Story and Goodbye Columbus, Jennifer O'Neil in Summer of '42, etc.

I didn't learn to skip class from any of their movies, but all of them made guest appearances in my teenage fantasies night after night...
Hey, don't knock my hobbies... practice made perfect!

Venom said...

Between Peachy and Fat Bottom Farm today? I REALLY (and I do mean REALLY) want a bacon cheeseburger for supper tonight.

Also, you weren't the only young girl to try (& fail miserably) to radiate coolness while duplicating choreographed dance.

Not me of course, I totally rocked that whole Flashdance thing. From the leggings & half destroyed off the shoulder sweatshirt, right to the chair dancing scene, I was so on point. Except that there was not enough Aquanet in Canada for me to achieve the Jennifer Beal hair.

Goddamit, I wanted that hair really bad but I kept ending up with just really bad hair. Ahhh, the 80's.

I still want that juicy bacon cheeseburger too, goddamit.

pattypunker said...

i never really got into kevin bacon either, but i do love that new commercial of his where he's all nerdy and he crosses his fingers and says if he watches anymore kevin bacon movies he might just turn into kevin bacon.

4 times on mtv spring break!!!! that's impressive. their cameras steered clear of my pasty white or lobster red skin and no boobs.

Anonymous said...

I can't even begin to explain the awesomeness that this post holds. Not only did you make me feel better about my post today but you gave me warm fuzzies for some of my favorite movies and possibly my favorite picture of Jon Bon Jovi. I love you forever now. ♥

The Reckmonster said...

Peachy - I have seen ALL of those movies at LEAST 65 times or more (each). I'm afraid that I can almost recite some of the scripts (which, I'm told, is VERY annoying to other people - jealous bastards just wish THEY knew all of the words to a movie, that's all). I am going to be a bit of a buzz kill for a minute though - I am NOT with you on Jon Bon Jovi. And that is squarely blamed on my HS boyfriend - bc we both made such a stink about thinking he was a dillhole, it still sticks with me today that I do NOT find JBJ remotely sexy. I'm sorry. I still <3 you though. It just means that we won't ever have to compete for JBJ's affections - he's ALL YOURS.

Chunky Mama said...

Steve Perry is a regular at this restaurant my hubby worked at for years. He loves fans, gives them his number, invites them to his house... FOR REALZ.
We think he is lonely.
But if you ever wanna meet him, I'll let you know where to hang.

Chunky Mama said...

Steve Perry is a regular at this restaurant my hubby worked at for years. He loves fans, gives them his number, invites them to his house... FOR REALZ.
We think he is lonely.
But if you ever wanna meet him, I'll let you know where to hang.

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Ella said...


Loved those movies.

Although, I should probably see Weird Science..

i'll get on that.