Well hello there, how do you do I, see you've met my, faithful, handy.......
Shit, sorry y'all, but my whatever the hell I have that distracts you mid sentence and OH MY BOB, my dog just farted and I swear it's a damn good thing she had her ass pointed AWAY from the fireplace, or she would have been propelled like a pack of bottle rockets out of the living room and through the breakfast Nook to the - Wait? Hold on what on earth kind of stupid word is Nook? Does anyone eat breakfast in a freaking Nook? Does that even sound appetizing? For example:
"The other day we were just hanging out in the NOOK and my man got down on one knee and pointed to the rose petals laying around the NOOK that he had placed them so they would spell out I WOULD DIE FOR YOU."
Ok so which song is better?
Prince Purple Rain I would die 4 u
Brain Adams with Everything I do.
Also this tree has a penis.
I am so glad I finished my education before they invented ADD, ADHD. We were just, "energetic", "talkative", or "not filling our potential".
By the way, who the hell decides someones potential? I have been to college, no where in the damn course catalog was crystal ball reading or "potential" readings. Do you think they ever said to a parent back then, " yeah little Suzy is trying so hard and working her ass off in here, but really Mrs Smith, she's dumb as a shack of carrots and reached her potential 5 years ago in 2nd grade. At this point Mrs Smith you should probably just go ahead and focus little Suzy on finding a foot ball star to marry, might I suggest some tube tops?" No I don't think those conversations ever went down so I call bullshit on all my teachers k- College.
Then I saw the picture above and went, "Shit. I now remember what this was supposed to be about!"
I saw 3 movies this weekend was going to review them, sorry maybe tomorrow, if I remember.
Oh yeah on a final note, the chick(?) in the picture above is totally wearing a tube top, but I bet no one tells her she aint reaching her potential. Just sayin
Nice pics lol, made my day! Came from Oilfield Trash's pimp shout out :D Following!
I got that picture sent to me by Miley. I am glad you think I need to be bent over with a sammich.
On a happier note, Mrs Peachy you have an award on my blog.
I needed your snarky, edgy, say it like it is self today.
Thanks. I don't feel so alone now.
You had me at PENIS !! Oh and Purple Rain.
I don't know which picture is more troubling the tree or the-um-girl(?).
I used to own a Labrador (well, the other way around, actually) that had the worst gas imaginable. The dog has been long gone (the saddest Squatlo Story of them all, and one of the most embarrassing moments of my adult life... which is saying something, can be found at http://squatlo-rant.blogspot.com/2010/06/squatlo-story-number-eleven-sir-this-is.html) but that god-awful smell still lingers in my mind from time to time. When they started advertising "Beano" a couple of years ago I thought about that dog and wondered if it would have worked on canines...
The tube top "lady's" probably hung like your tree pic. And Prince is probably hung more like the lady.
@squalto- sorry to hear about your pup, is super sad, my dog is a lab too, maybe labs just have gas, like dalmatians have spots?
Also I nearly freaked when you wrote Prince is hung like the lady. Because unless you read my other blog you probably don't realize I have a 9 yr old I call ThePrince, not cause he sings, or wears purple or sleeps with that Appleonia chick, it's totally other reasons. But non the less for a second I thought you were referring to my kids junk and I was all sharpening my ninja stars and stuff, but then I figured it out, you meant Purple Rain Prince. duh. see it's always good to think things through.
Oh my, I'm in stitches. Why have I not been following you? I can't explain it, but will remedy it momentarily. We have the same cool friends (OT, Miley, etc.), and we both like to laugh.
PS Silly me, I am following. I'll definitely be back.
I found you through Make Daddy a Sammich and so glad that I did! Love the snarky writing and of course the penis tree. Consider me a new fan!
Are you SURE that's a girl? Could be man-boobs.
Having to make that commute to work and back every day is getting really dedious.
Madam Peachy One, I would never make fun of your kid's junk... and really have no room to tease anyone else about their's, either...
The dog I lost was the best lab I ever owned, and I've had five. That dog would run, fetch, and hunt ALL DAMN DAY and never get tired. I used to take her to the lake, along with a tennis racket and ball... practice my serves out into the lake while she played ball return. Those were the nights that dog got some serious sleep...
She would even (not shitting you here) go to the bottom of a pond or lake to get a sunken toy I would toss out for her. All you would see of her would be her butt up in the air kicking for the bottom, and she'd nose around in the muck and find whatever I'd thrown...
Being the one who threw out the toy that got her electrocuted still makes me feel guilty, but then, I guess I'm just lucky it wasn't me at the bottom of that bridge with her.
We had some good times...
Hey, sorry for the maudlin noises! Love your site, will be back.
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